Ask Them Yourself!
by MizuKitsune10
Summary: An interview thing with some of the DGM cast. Co-authored by embrenn. Story is crazy and random. Everyone will be as in-character as possible, although we fail at that. Rated for use of F-Word, multiple times. CRACKFIC
1. Explanations Galore!

MizuKitsune10 - This story came from embrenn. Thanks Em! I still don't want you guys to know my name, so I will be V-chan, what Em calls me in her fic Days of Our Lives. This fic will be really random. This occurred after the invasion of HQ. Also, the Noahs are all alive, and both Em and I have innocence.

Em - Damned straight!

V-chan - Watcha doing here?

Em - Disclaimer. V-chan and I do not own D. Gray-man, if we did, all hell would've broken loose.

V-chan - damned straight Oh! The first chapter is my POV. The rest is in 3rd person.

Both - LET'S GET ON WITH THE FIC!

_**WARNING! THERE WILL BE RANDOMNESS & DIMENSION TRAVELLING IN THIS CHAPTER.**_

**Ask Them Yourself!**

**Ask Them Yourself!**

**Chapter 1: Explanations Galore!**

**My POV**

One day, Em came to visit me. We did lots of stuff, but we were still bored. Em was in my room on my bed when an idea struck her.

"Hey V-chan!" Emily hollered.

"What Em? and don't yell so loud." I told her as I handed her a coke and I sipped my water.

"I got a great idea!"

"Really lemme guess... we abduct people for no reason?"

"Nope, but close. Why don't we steal the cast of DGM and interview em?"

"Great idea! But let's limit that to Allen & his friends, Miranda, Krory, Cross, Koumi, Bak, the Noahs, and the Earl. Hey, to keep damage at a minimum and to keep them from escaping, let's use your indestructible dimension!" I cackled.

"Sure thing" Em said and pulled out her innocence. It was a white scythe with crosses on the blade. It glowed green, and she sliced the air. Suddenly, a rip appeared.

"Let's go. I'll get exorcists and you get the Noahs. I'll use the communication necklace to tell you when I got them." I said. Em replied, "Kay." and with that we jumped in the rip that closed behind us.

**The Ark (3rd person POV)**

The Noahs and Earl were sitting at their dining table plotting to kill the exorcists and win the war, but they all had different ideas of how to do it. Rhode thought of sending them all to her dimension and killing them using that redhead, who would break down this time. Tyki thought of using Tease and his power. Skin just thought if they didn't like sweets cough Kanda cough he'd electrocute them and Kanda would go down this time.

Jasdebi thought of torturing that vampire guy and making sure he can't do the blood thing again. Lulubelle had yet to meet the exorcists her siblings seemed to hate with greater intensity than usual, so she just though of Killing them swiftly and having a glass of milk afterwards. The Earl though, just thought his plans were going perfectly, even if that Walker brat destroyed his akuma egg. He could remake the egg.

As the earl was about to order an akuma to do his bidding, a rip appeared next to the dining table. Curiously, the earl made sure no Noah attacked the rip. Then, Emily. came out. The Noah, who saw who their visitor was, freaked out and tried to run away. Emily scared them enough, and the last thing they needed right now was her.

"Kobanwa Emily-chan." the Earl greeted. He was expecting mass mayhem, but was confused when she did not start the craziness.

"Kobanwa mad cow." Emily began. "I am here today not to torture you" the Noah sighed at this. "But to bring you to V-chan, who will interview you." Emily finished. There were lots of responses, but Jasdebi's was the best, and most vulgar.

"No fucking way are we going to that crazy editor of yours! She'll probably mangle us!" they cried and the other Noahs nodded in agreement while the Earl had a smile and was pleased with the prospect.

"Usually, V-chan is my editor, but now, she is the writer and I am her assistant. She and I also swear on out torture habits not to harm you while you're there, unless you deserve it." Emily swore. Satisfied with that since they knew that Embrenn and V-chan loved their torture habits, they followed her into a new rip she made. The rip closed and not one person was left behind, except for akuma.

**Black Order HQ**

The Black Order was quite busy right now, trying to resume order and what not. The people V-chan sought, except for Krory, were in Koumi's office, discussing what to do next. Suddenly, a rip appeared above them that Allen noticed.

"Look up there!" Allen said. All the exorcists braced for akuma, but were surprised when a girl came out. She was Chinese and was wearing a white shirt that reached half way to her thighs with selves that went to her elbow, a pair of black-blue jeans, navy blue flats, a gold necklace, a necklace that had a dragonfly charm on it, and two bracelets, one was gold. She had black hair that was naturally brown at the bottom, a tan, and brown eyes. Her bangs would cover her eyes if she didn't push them away.

The girl landed in a crouch position and yelled into the disappearing hole,

"You did that on purpose didn't you?"

Then, she saw she was with her targets. She sweat dropped and said, "Hello." Kanda, being the impatient person he was, yelled.

"Who the hell are you? How the fuck did you get in here without alerting the guards?" and had Mugen activated and near her neck.

"Okay. You need anger management issues, but I'll answer them anyways. My name is V-chan, and I would like to interview you all. I got in here because my friend sent me in here." she said.

"How do we know you're not a Noah, akuma, or the Earl trying to trap us?" Lavi said suspiciously.

"You want proof I'm not lying? Do I have gray skin and crosses on my forehead? Did I alert Allen's left eye? No." "You could be hiding your skin tone, and how did you know about my eye?" Allen said while looking very scared.

"I'll answer the question about your eye if you come with me, and seeing as I need more proof, I'm just gonna hafta show you it. I really didn't want to though.", and with that.

A bright light surrounded V-chan's arms. Suddenly, her arms turned black, but glowed green. "You're an exorcist!" everyone there shouted. "Yes I am, and I swear on my innocence that if you come with me and answer questions, I will not harm you or set you up in a trap. If you deserve the pain, I will give it.", she swore.

Finally after a lot of debate and Koumi saying they should trust her, they agreed. V-chan smiled, but frowned when she saw Krory missing. "Where's Krory?" she asked.

"In the hospital. He won't get out of his coma." Reever said. "Show me to him." she commanded. When she reached his bed, she touched his forehead and silently said, "search and destroy." And suddenly, a fingertip disintergrated and entered Krory's body. Then Krory spasm. "You said you would not harm anyone!" Koumi roared.

All the exorcists stayed silent, not wanting to anger the elder Lee. "Look at him." she murmured. After a few seconds, he regained consciousness and after hearing what everyone said, thanked V-chan and followed everyone else.

V-chan then locked the door to Koumi's office and took out the dragonfly necklace and said, "Em, I got them. Open the portal please." With that, a rip appeared in front of her, and everyone walked in after her. The ripped closed and no one noticed that the people had disappeared.

_**Emily's Dimension Pocket**_

Emily's group got in first. The Noah's looked around and saw a study with artwork (stolen by Dark) a desk with two chairs behind it, and a large brunch of chairs, seventeen to be exact. That was more than they needed. "Why are there extra chairs?" Tyki inquired. "Cuz I got more guests coming just wait." Emily said. No sooner had she said that, Emily heard V-chan saying, "You did that on purpose!" Emily giggled and waited, sitting at one of the seats behind the desk.

A few minutes later, she heard V-chan yell to open the portal. She did, and V-chan and her group came in. Once everyone was in and the hole closed, the exorcists and Noah's yelled, "Why the hell are we with them?! They'll attack us, and you'd break your promise!"

V-chan waited for them to shut up before she said, "You will not be fighting each other. Remember what we promised you we'd do. All of you will be answering questions without fighting. Em controls the place and she can have you stuck in quick sand, or the Amazon. There is no fighting. If you do, both of us will hurt you. Now any questions?" The Noah's all shuddered and said yes.

The Earl happily agreed, and the exorcists did to, if only grudgingly. Everyone took a seat, but the Noahs and exorcists separated from each other. "Why did you guys shiver?" Allen inquired. "Because cheating Boy A,", Tyki said "The last time those two joined together, all hell broke loose, and it's not fun." "Hey! We didn't kill you so why are you complaining?" they both yelled. "No reason!" Tyki shivered and quickly shut up.

Koumi finally found the nerve to talk and said, "Do you both have innocence? What do they do? Why did you not join the Order?" "And how did you know about my eye?" Allen asked. Everyone gasped and waited for a reply.

V-chan sighed and said, "Kay, yes both of us have innocence-" another gasp "and I'll explain my innocence and Em will explain hers. Mine-" her arms turned black again "is a parasite-type innocence called Dark Gloves. They enhance my strength while my arms are still in it physical form. My arms can also disintegrate into tiny particles that I could use to sense akuma. Also, the particles can enter the akuma, and destroy it from the inside. I can also have the particles heal other exorcists, like what I do when Emily gets hurt, but the particles could also poison you if I want them to. Got it?" Everyone nodded and warned themselves not to make her mad well, except for Kanda, Cross and the Earl.

Emily smiled and said, "Okay, so mine-" a scythe appeared in her hands "is this scythe, Loki. It can be used to purify akuma and also can rip holes in dimensions. I can use it to teleport others too. This dimension is one based on what I think and how I feel. This dimension is inescapable, even Rhode can't leave. So in here, if you piss me off, I'll make sure torture comes your way. I also know how to fight with or without Loki."

Rhode then tried to materialize her door, but failed. "She's right!", Rhode yelled. "So, we did not join the Order because we're not from here.", Emily said. "Huh?", was the oh so intelligent reply. V-chan sighed and said, "Look, we already told you the Emily can rip holes in dimensions. We used it to come to you guys' dimension. We are actually from a place where you are a Japanese comic and cartoon series. That's how we knew about your eye Allen." "Oh.", was their reply. "So, we will now start our interview.", V-chan and Emily said with evil gleams in their eyes.

And so the chaos began.

_**End**_

V-chan - So, watcha think? Also, if you read embren's fics, you'd realize the Dark Gloves idea came from 'An American Black Order'. No worries, I am allowed to use the idea.

Em - Yup! She is!

V-chan - Now, I need your questions to do this. PM me, leave a review I don't care. Please write who you're asking and your question(s).

Em - Anonymous reviews are accepted!

V-chan - Yep, so leave a question. I swear I'll try to keep answers in character ones.

Both - LEAVE A REPLY, STAYED TUNED, AND WE'LL UPDATE AS SOON AS WE GET AT LEAST 5 QUESTIONS!

SAYONARA!


	2. In Which Awkward Questions Are Asked

V-chan & Emily - HEY PEOPLES! WE'RE BACK!!

Cast - shudders yay.

Both - HEY! Fine, we'll make this worse!

Cast - NO! Sorry. YAY!

Both - thank you

V-chan - Anyway, we finally got enough questions, so here we go!

Emily – Wait! You forgot the stupid disclaimer!

V-chan - Oh yeah! Can I get someone up here to say we don't own D. Gray-man?

Allen - Okay. V-chan and Emily do not own D. Gray-man. If they did, I'm pretty sure we would be near dead by now.

V-chan – We wouldn't kill you Allen, but maybe to everyone else. Also, next chapter, you don't have to do this until everyone else has said our disclaimer.

Emily - damned straight! This chapter is in V-chan's POV.

Allen - yay!

**Chapter 2: In Which Awkward Questions Are Asked**

"Okay people! Our first question is from Emily, who had to ask this. Emily?" I said, clearly amused.

"Thanks V-chan! Anyway, my question is for Allen. What did you go through while with Cross?" Emily asked.

At the words 'go through' and 'Cross', Allen huddled into a corner and was mumbling incoherently. Cross was smirking, and also had a mad look on his face.

"Allen? Are you okay?" Lenalee asked. "Sorry Allen, but you have to answer it.", I said.

"I'm fine Lenalee. Anyway I (don't wanna tell anyone for the sake of your sanity) and one time, I accidentally ate master's liquor chocolates, and he nearly killed me. I'll never touch liquor again." Allen said, quite pale as finished.

Nearly everyone gasped at this, seeing as that was cruel. The Noahs were just surprised the kid lived through it all.

Cross nearly snorted and said, "You shouldn't have touched my chocolate idiot apprentice. Oh, and don't forget Rosanne." as he finished with a smirk. Allen paled even more, remembering Rosanne, the man-eating baby plant he had to take care of.

Emily and I were slightly horrified.

"You'd do that to a child? That's horrible!" I cried, until I realized something and said, "Hm. Maybe we should use those as torture ideas! What do you say Em?"

"Hm, good idea! Thank you Cross and Allen, for giving us more torture ideas!" Emily smirked. Both of us sat down in our seats.

The Noahs were ready to kill those two, how could you tell? There was fire in the back ground.

"You dumbasses! You just gave them more ideas to kill us!" JasDebi yelled, with everyone else agreeing with the twins.

"Well. That was interesting. Okay! I have a question for Bak!" I screamed. I was sugar high!

"Okay." he said, see no harm in letting her ask.

"Bak, why do you have a bunch of pictures of Lenalee in your room?" I asked. Bak instantly regretted it. Sorry to him, but I really wanna know. I think Allen does too.

Allen asked, "Yes, why?" Lenalee simply blushed redder than a tomato. But it was Koumi to look at and fear (fear the power of the overprotecting brother!)

Koumi could now be seen with his equipment out, and a Komurin mark five behind him. The robot's name was scratched out and said 'Lenalee's fan boy exterminator'.

"Oh! Look at the pretty robot!" Emily said as she served everyone coffee, even Komurin Five.

"You MUST answer Bak." Emily, Koumi, and I said, although Koumi's was more 'say the wrong thing and die'.

"Because I have a crush on her, okay!" Bak yelled, while scratching his hives. Lenalee blushed even more, and Koumi marked him as 'fan boy'. Emily and I simply nodded, since Koumi was ready to kill him. Koumi already started up his tools and robot.

The robot immediately powered up and Koumi pressed a button. (shiny button!) It didn't help that Emily served it coffee.

"Bak Chan. Classified Fan boy. Must destroy." Komurin Five said. It immediately shot rockets at the Asia branch head. Koumi also used the drill, jackhammer, and all his other tools.

By the end of it, Bak was lying in a pool of blood while Emily poked him with a stick. Komurin Five was powered down, and Koumi put his tools away.

The exorcists watched this horrible scene and reminded themselves an angry Koumi is very, VERY BAD. Lenalee just looked slightly horrified and slightly glad that a fan boy was gone.

The Noahs and Earl watched with strange fascination at the now unconscious Asian head. A majority of them were thinking along the lines of, 'Wow. I thought WE were evil. Jealous older siblings are far, FAR worse.'

Rhode thought, for a minute and finally asked her older brothers

"Would you do that?" with questioning eyes.

They said, "No." Tyki added, "Not because you aren't special to us, but you can always bring them to your dimension and maul them with candles." Rhode nodded content with the answer.

I stood up, checked up on Bak, and sighed.

"Dammit Koumi, now I have to heal him. You know he's only alive by a thread right? You better be glad I can still heal him!!"

I then activated my innocence and put my hands on top of Bak's chest.

"Heal." I commanded, and some of my fingers disintegrated, and Bak was fully healed, but unconscious. I laid him on a bed that Emily materialized from Sleepy's (stupid song is stuck in my head!) and sat back down.

Emily stood up. "This is from ElysianFire. She asks, 'Kanda: Have you been hit on by a straight person?' ". A vein throbbed in Kanda's head as everyone else, save Bak, who was still unsconcious, snickered. Even Allen was snickering, but stopped and started mumbling again when Kanda yelled, "WHAT THE FCKING HELL!? I'm outta here."

Kanda jumped out of his seat, and tried to leave, but Emily came up with an innocence breaking chainsaw.

"Now, now Kanda. Allen and Bak had to answer their questions." Now sit back down before I do something I don't want to do (liar!)" Emily had that Chibi look saying 'I'm going to kill you' and in Kanda's thoughts he could only think of three things.

'WHAT. THE. FUCK.'

She pointed at Allen, who was still in the corner, mumbling, and Bak, who was unconscious.

"You have to too, and add in who did hit on you and what'd you do to them, or I use this innocence breaking chainsaw on Mugen." and Mugen mysteriously appeared in her hands.

Kanda gave up.

"Che. Yes. That person was a finder, and you couldn't recognize him when I was done with him. He was still breathing too." Kanda said.

Everyone was staring at him. The exorcists because they didn't believe that Kanda would lacerate a person, a finder no less. The Noahs stared because they did not think an exorcist would be that brutal to someone he was working with.

Emily and I, however, just sat there. We realized he was brutal around the time where he threatened everyone to leave and used Mugen on them before fighting Skin.

"Ok. Now that we know about that, we're ending this little question round. More are coming later." I said. Emily materialized enough bedrooms for everyone and a kitchen.

"There are rooms over there with your name on it. Go into your room only, or I kill you! The doors only allow YOU in. There's a kitchen if you get hungry, and the kitchen restocks itself. You guys sleep, and tomorrow, we will have more questions for you guys." Emily said.

Allen's room was just like the one at the Order, including the creepy pictures and creepy room! Same with all the other exorcists. The Noah's rooms however, were different.

Rhode's room was just like her dimension. It had floating candles, some clothes she'd wear, and a doll of Allen. Rhode squealed and glomped the poor doll to death. I feel so sad for the doll. (sniffle)

Tyki's room was half dark, half light, literally. One side had no lights on. Needless to say, Tyki was not amused, but had to make due, and complain tomorrow.

Skin's room was filled with candy. He grabbed one, bit it, and bit his finger. The candies were fake. Skin didn't know this, and kept biting his fingers.

Lulubelle's room was made for a cat. Lulubelle turned into a cat and looked in the dish. There. Was. No. Milk!

"Dammit." she said. Then, as she laid down to sleep, dogs started barking. When she got up, the barking stopped.

"Goddamn annoying authors." she cursed.

The Earl's room was like his own. Neither of us felt the need to mess with it. Lero's was a broom closet.

Jasdebi's room was, horrible. It was a pigsty, oddly like their usual room. There was one bed, and a note saying 'Hope you like your room! Only one bed. Try sitting on it.' Even though they knew they shouldn't sit on the bed, they did anyway, and all the clothes started burning.

"GODDAMN YOU AUTHORS!" they cried.

Meanwhile, the prep room, where the two insane girls watched over everyone and planned on what would happen next, we grinned as Jasdebi and Lulubelle cursed us.

"You gotta love spy cameras and sound proof rooms." V-chan said. The two idiots smirked.

Finally after preparing for tomorrow, they went to their rooms. V-chan's had navy blue walls, with posters of Simple Plan, Linkin Park, Fall Out Boy, Green Day, and a Happy Bunny poster. The bed had blue sheets and pillows.

Emily's room was gray, with pictures of black bats on the wall, to pictures of a black tree surrounded by graves, and filled with manga, a desk, and a canopy bed.

As the girls went to sleep, we could only snicker at what would happen tomorrow.

Both - And we're done!

V-chan - Please tell us what you think, and supply us with more questions. I feel so proud of this chapter. Don't you?

Emily - I sure do.

V-chan - Once again, I need at least three questions with the character's name, question, and your name!

Emily - Big thanks to ElysianFire, the only one to give us a question. Everyone else, ask a question dammit! Or I'll starts long rant of torture methods

V-chan - Oh great. You got her started on a rant. Well, the only way to get rid of it is to ask us questions so I can update ASAP. So REVIEW!

Emily - Still ranting killing methods

Sayonara!


	3. Captain Winky? Oo

V-chan - YO! We're back!

Emily - Amen to that!

V-chan - I'm gonna be pretty busy since testing started at my school, so updates will be close to nil!

Emily - Don't worry though! We will be back!

V-chan - Also, I have a poll on my bio, so click my penname and vote!

Emily - Or I'll take out my n00binator frying pan!

V-chan - Don't threaten them! Oh yeah, can I get a person to do disclaimer please, and it better not be Allen!

Kanda - Che! The stupid idiots

Both of us - HEY!

Kanda - Don't own D. Gray-man. They'd kill us all.

V-chan - Amen to that, well except for the idiot part!

Emily - The chapter title will be explain later. On with the chapter!

V-chan - Note to you guys, Emily's comments are in parentheses ( ), and mine are in brackets . Obviously, both our comments are in both. i.e.

**Ch 3: Captain Winky?! O.o**

**The Kitchen**

So, it'd been a day since the interview started. Everyone was eating semi-peacfully when...

Jasdevi came in with boot marks on their butts.

"What happened?" the Earl inquired.

"They pissed us off! That's what!" Emily yelled! She was about to throw her trusty spoon Bob, when V-chan stopped her.

"Calm down Em." V-chan said. Emily calmed down, but gave her a ' you are gonna die a slow painful death' look to Jasdebi. Both of them though they would be sent to their death beds.

"So, how were your rooms?" she asked, and Lulubelle, Tyki, Jasdevi, and Skin immeadiately yelled,

"WE HAVE A PROBLEM!"

"One at a time children. Tyki first." the Earl chided. (the mad cow please see Days of Our Lives for the nickname acts like a father...INTERSTING)

"Why does only half of my room have lights?" he asked.

"Because you have a white side and black side, and we wanted to emphasize it." Emily cheerfully replied. V-chan nodded.

"Well, can I have lights on both sides?" he asked. "Maybe." was the answer given by both the girls at the same time. Tyki sighed, and just decided to live with it.

"Lullubelle, you next." the Earl said, sipping on Earl Grey tea.

"Okay. Why is my room cat themed, why does it bark everytime I lie down, and why is there no MILK?" she asked.

"Okay, it's cat themed cuz you seem to like to be a cat. It barks cuz we wanted it to, and there's no milk cuz food is not allowed to be taken into your rooms." V-chan said.

"OMG You said that in order!" Emily cried, surprised.

"Of course genius." V-chan replied sullenly.

"Then why does ALLEN WALKER get to take HIS food in?" an obviously pissed Lulubelle asked.

"Allen? Cuz he's cool." Emily added in. V-chan nodded in agreement. Lulubelle still looked angry, but she was satisfied with her answers, for now. (MYSTERY!)

"Skin, your turn." the Earl said, now eating biscuits. (my god he eats a lot!)

"Why do the sweets in my room hurt my fingers?" he cried, outraged. (poor little Skinykins)

"Because they are fake. No food allowed in rooms. There are sweets in the cupboard though." was the simple answer from V-chan.

Skin rushed to the cupboard and ate all the sweets, not caring that they being the authors made him hurt himself.

"Jasdebi, you may now complain." the Earl said, enjoying the show. Both V-chan and Emily covered their ears, braced for impact.

"WHY THE FUCK DID THE CLOTHES BURN? WHY IS THE ROOM A PIGSTY, AND WHY IS THERE ONLY **ONE** BED?!" was the main outrage of the twins.

"Okay, so the clothes burned cuz you sat on the bed. We thought you'd have enough sense not to sit on it since we told you to sit on it, but you trusted us." Emily began as V-chan nodded.

"The room is a pigsty cuz your room in the mansion is... and cuz you guyss are annoying." V-chan continued.

"_**And there's one bed cuz we count you two as one person since you can merge together**_." we said in unison.

"It does make sense." the Earl said. The twins seethed, but knew enough not to piss the two 'devils' off.

After that little incident, eeryone started playing games or watched TV in the arcade that appeared while the author and her assisstant looked for the questions.

"ARE YOU SURE YOU PUT IT IN THE DUNGEON?!" Emily screamed from downstairs.

"YEAH! BUT I'LL CHECK THE CAVES JUST IN CASE!" V-chan hollered back.

""WHY THE CAVES?" Emily screamed.

"CUZ I FED JIMMY THE YETI JASDEBI'S BURNT CLOTHES!" V-chan yelled back.

"OKAY!" Emily replied.

**BREAK**

At noon, everyone heard, "Okay. Now that that's over with, we have questions!" that came from the two random people.

**The Lounge**

Everyone was now seated in a chair. Once again, the two girls were behind the desk, and the others seperated into two groups.

"Okay. All the questions are from JenLawliet. The first one is to Kanda, Lavi, Allen, and Lenalee. She asks, If you guys could change innocence among yourselves, whose weapon would you want and why?" Emily said.

"I'd want Kanda's Mugen because it is very powerful, and Lavi's hammer and Allen's arm do not suit me." Lenalee said.

"I would keep my own. Baka moyashi's arm and usagi-baka's hammer stink. Lenalee's boots need blood CHAPTER 157 SPOILER!, I will not donate blood." Kanda said, scowling.

"You'd also have to wear a skirt, and you wouldn't look good in them anyway." Emily said.

"eww. He'd look even more girly than before!" V-chan shuddered at the thought.

"Ooh! I want Allen's arm! It's constantly changing, so the suprises are endless!" Lavi cheered, bouncing up and down.

"I'd want Lavi's personally. Kanda would never let me touch Mugen, and I spill enough blood, I don't want to spill more." Allen said, smiling slightly.

"Thanks guys and girl! The next few questions are for Lavi. The first one is, How is it to view the world with one eye?" V-chan exclaimed.

"Kinda annoying actually. If I close it, I could fall or trip on something, or hit a wall." Lavi said, sulking slightly.

"Okay. Nice veiwpoint. The next question is 'How did you know Kanda's given name in the first place?' " Emily said.

"Well, he and I are friends, not that he'll admit it. Also, location, loccation, location." Lavi says, but also whispers, "_the HQ's bio files duh._"

"No wonder! The last question she has for you is, How many scafs and headbands do you have and how often do you change them? " V-chan asked, curious herself.

Every Order member besides Kanda and Cross also paid attention, wanting to know themselves.

"I only have one of each. No can replace Captain Winky!" he exclaimed with a large grin. Everyone listening to him sweat dropped.

(CAPTAIN WINKY WAS EMBRENN'S IDEA!! DON'T STEAL!)

"Captain Winky?" Emily asked.

"Yes...YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?" he yelled, brandishing his hammer.

"No we don't." V-chan said, calming him down.

"Looks like someone is sensitive about their attire." Emily said.

"Don't forget Cross with that one!" V-chan said.

"The last questions are for Allen. JenLawliet asks, Since you eat so musch and so fast, have you ever choked on your food?" Emily inquired.

"Um, no I haven't." Allen said.

"She also wants to know, Is there any food you dislike?" V-chan asked.

"I'll probably eat anything." he said.

"Really? I dare you to eat brussel sprouts!" Emily said.

Magically, brussel sprouts appeared in front of Allen. He grimaced and asked, "Do I have to?" while everyone stared in horror.

'Brussel sprouts are evil!' they all thought. Jasdebi were pleased they weren't Allen right now. They'd rather have a room full of burning clothes than eating brussel sprouts.

V-chan added, "Eat them or I will make you share a room with Cross."

Allen paled, and ate them in horror. Finally, he finished and gagged in a bucket that appeared next to him.

"Sorry Allen." Emily said.

"Now that that's over with, everyone can go back to what ever they were doing at first." V-chan said, and everyone left to do whatever they wanted.

**BREAK**

That night, everyone went back to their rooms.

Tyki went in his room and found that the two girls put lights all over the room, but one side was painted black, the other side was white.

The white side had white furniture, and the black had black furniture. He saw a note on the back of his dorr and it said 'Happy now?'. He said "thank you" and went to sleep.

Lulubelle entered her room and saw that they gave her human furniture, but left a scratching post for when she was a cat. She slightly smiled, but frowned when she saw a note.

It read '_We got rid of most of the furniture and replaced it_.' She smiled and laid on the bed. Then the dog sirens started wailing again. Lulubelle scowled and rested on the scrathing post as a cat.

The siren rang again. "Goddammit." she mumbled and slept on the floor as a cat.

Skin's room now was filled with posters of sweet things. He didn't mind that, but now got cravings for candy. As he walked to the door, he fell in a twenty foot deep, ten feet wide hole. He was angry, but soon fell asleep.

Jasdebi's room was not changed, and the two guyss were mad. They slept thinking curses, and did not sleep before saying, "Fuck it."

Rhode's room was the same. We didn't wanna change it cuz she left a note that said, '_Take the Allen doll and I rip your heads off_'. Usually, we wouldn't listen, but this is RHODE. She could cross dimensions and kill us, so no thank you.

Back in the planning room, we watched the four with mildly caring looks. That moment ended though when Emily started giggling.

"I think that went well, don't you?" V-chan asked as she nibbled on her Japanese chocolate.Yummy

"Yes, but did we have to fix Tyki's room?" Emily whined, biting her Pocky.POCKY RULES!

"Yes. He's one of the better characters. At least he cares for humans." V-chan reminded her.

"True. Well, at least we tortured Jasdebi and Lulubelle, but did we HAVE to leave the Allen doll there?" Emily asked, pouting.

"Yes. Oh! Here." V-chan said, and she took out two chibi Allen dolls and handed Emily one.

"YAY! THANK YOU!" Emily squealed.

"Welcome." V-chan said, hugging her doll.

"Well, night." Emily said as she walked to her room. "Night." V-chan answered as she closed the door.

The two got ready for bed and then went to sleep thinking of new ways to torture the unsuspecting characters and hugging their dolls.

In their rooms, everyone else shivered.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

V-chan - That's the end! What do you guys think?

Emily - Yeah! Review please. Tell us how it went,

V-chan - What could be improved,

Both - And ask more questions!

V-chan - Please remember that You can ask Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Kanda, Koumi, Bak, Miranda, Krory, the Earl, the Noahs, and us if you want.

Emily - Yeah! Ask the Noahs something! And Captain Winky was MY IDEA!!

V-chan - Also, special thanks to JenLawliet. She gets an imaginary Allen doll.

Both - So, REVIEW!

SAYONARA!!


	4. The Oddest Questions Ever

V-chan - Well, here's the new chapter! It took forever!

Emily - Yep!

V-chan here's the chapter. Poll results so far and other thanks are at the bottom of the chapter.

Emily - Yep!

V-chan - Okay, well, someone get up here for disclaimer rights!

Lenalee – I'll say it.

Both – Thanks Lena-chan!

Lenalee – You're welcome. V-chan and Emily do not own D. Gray-man. If they did, well, it'd be totally random and insane.

Both – Too true. Thank You! Now enjoy the chapter!

**Note**

"speaking"

'thought'

(notes)

**Ch 4: The Oddest Questions Ever**

Well, here we are. V-chan and Emily were already starting the questions. Why? Because there were lots and lots of questions. The Noahs, exorcists, and Earl were already seated.

"Okay, let's start. This is from Jen Lawliet. 'I totally disagree! I think that Kanda would look good in a skirt with his hair down! Care to explain more on captain winky?' " Emily asked. Oddly enough, Kanda answered.

"We were around five years old at the time and Lavi used to carry a stuffed puppy around the Order. He wanted me to give it a hug, but I sliced it in half and he attacked me with his hammer and I fought back, causing us to destroy half of the order. In then end Bookman beat the living crap out of us. Then I found some random headband and I gave it to Lavi. Then he tried to hug me but he called me Yuu, so I chased him again.

--Flashback!--

"THANK YOU YUU!" said Lavi.

"..." Kanda was silent.

"... What?" Lavi asked

"...WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" asked Kanda slightly twitching.

"I said, 'Thank you Yuu.' "repeated Lavi.

"Don't EVER call me that again." Kanda seethed.

"WHY? What are YOU gonna do about it?" mocked Lavi, he put his hands on his hips. (girly man!)

"I'll tear you to shreds" Kanda threatened.

"I know what you are but what am I?" Lavi mocked again.

"A MORON!" Kanda yelled.

"I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?" Lavi repeated.

"YOU'RE AN IDIOT!" Kanda yelled.

They both say at the same time, "I know what you are but what am I??" a bunch of times.

"I know you what you are but what am I times infinity!" screams Lavi. Kanda had the Look of Oh Shit... but only for a moment.

"THAT'S IT YOUR DEAD." Kanda yelled, brandishing Mugen

"oh shit." Lavi deadpanned.

--FLASHBACK END!--" Kanda finished.

The big screen turned off.

"Where did that TV come from?" asked V-chan, she looked at Emily who smiled at her like an idiot.

"Never Mind." the author didn't want to know.

"Okay, this next question will probably get us killed. DON'T KILL US KANDA!" said Emily, V-chan got the shelter ready. "Maybe" he said.

"Um, okay." V-chan and Emily replied unsurely.

"You tell him." "No you!" the two girls were arguing over who'd ask the question.

"I'll do it. I just remembered Kanda couldn't hurt us here!" V-chan said with a Fuji Syusuke smile on. Emily went to the Kitchen.

"Okay, the question is from whiteninjaachemist. She says 'I want to know if Kanda is a girl in disguised or a boy looking like a girl

Ps. I like Kanda and Allen plus Lavi more than other people.' " V-chan asked.

It took all the self control Kanda had to NOT kill the asker and V-chan. Instead, he yelled... really loud, OUR POOR EARS! TToTT

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!"

"I don't know." V-chan said, scratching her head. Emily got Lemonade for everyone... but she replaced the sugar with salt. Everyone spit out there drink, Skin was crying again because there was no sugar in the drink.

There was a very long silence.

"THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ASKING IT??" Kanda roared with multiple veins bulging out.

"Cuz they asked." was Emily's oh so obvious answer.

"Just answer it dummy." V-chan said, rather annoyed.

"I'M A BOY DUMBASSES!" Kanda yelled.

"So basically, you're a very girly guy." Emily said, V-chan was amazed Emily was so blunt towards someone who could become a potential serial killer. V-chan nodding in affirmation anyway.

Still with veins popping out, Kanda barely nodded yes. (OMG)

"Thank you. Was that so hard?" Emily asked.

Another nod

"Okay, before Kanda bursts," V-chan said, pointing at the VERY ticked Japanese, "We'll move on."

"So, these are from Jinai. The first one is to Jasdebi. It is, 'Why do they stay as twins all the time, when they could be one person? Wouldn't it be easier?' " Emily said.

Jasdebi had a weird grin on. "We stay as twins because-" Jasdero started. "We couldn't annoy the hell outta Skin and Tyki." David finished.

"Nice to know you care." Tyki said, with veins popping. Skin had veins popping and was ready to hurt the twins when V-chan popped up and stopped him with candy.

"Now now, if you hurt each other here, we're not responsible for aftermaths." she said.

Usually, the Noah's would ignore her, but her expression, which was very, VERY scary Fuji Syusuke style stopped them.

"Okay, onto the next question!" V-chan yelled. "It says, 'Kanda doesn't seem to be interested in anything else than Mugen, so my question is, if he ever went to school? Or was educated any other way? Does he even know how to write and read!?

Don't get me wrong, Kanda is one of my fav. characters, but this question has

been bugging me ever since. it's also important for me to know for my own ff

-german, not published, sucks, what else to say- and those are the little, but important things to know."

Once again, Kanda was pissed. He reluctantly answered after he remembered V-chan's warning.

"I did get some education, but Akuma attacked before I could finish it." (I'm not really sure, this is what I believe. Although, Hoshino-sensei said Lenalee is the smartest, followed by Lavi, then Allen, and lastly Kanda).

Emily nodded, and continued on with, "Okay, now they want to know if anything ticks Lenalee off besides Koumi's overprotectiveness."

"Well, besides Koumi's overprotectiveness, which doesn't bother me much," Lenalee started, "when my friends fight while putting themselves in danger" insert glare at Allen, who sweat dropped, "nothing really ticks me off." she finished with a smile.

"Nice to know, alright next is for Lavi. Jinai asks 'Can you quit being a bookman and become a full exorcist. I think it's really annoying sometimes, the duties of a bookman, the rules of being a

bookman, the importance of staying alone, blah blah blah. Did you sign anything or what? Can't bookman just get someone else to be his successor? Sorry, but this really ticks me off.' " V-chan asked, gasping for breath at the end.

"Well, I swore I'd become a Bookman, so I have to fulfill my promise. It's kinda annoying, but I don't mind. No, I didn't sign anything. Besides, I don't think anyone else would willingly become Bookman and erase their identity like me." Lavi explained.

"Wow, nice to know. Anyway, the last question is to Bak. 'Did Likei blackmail him for his Lenalee-Obsession (y'know, he DID find out, before Allen got his Crown Clown)? So, did he use it against him? evilgrin' " Emily asked.

"No. I've managed to get him to shut up, but he'll crack soon I know it." Bak said.

"Whew! Finally done. Well, everyone can now eat dinner, since it's really late." V-chan started.

"But! This time, you have to eat..." Emily continued.

"WASABI ROLLS!", they yelled in unison. (V-chan - tribute to Fuji Syuuske, the awesome sadist that I adore!)

Everyone knew better to complain, and just ate the rolls, but not without yelling from the spiciness. Except for the Earl and Cross, cause they're too cool for that.

Finally, they went to sleep.

Jasdebi & Lulubelle were screaming and the rest of the Noahs and the Earl were sleeping contentedly.

The exorcists were sleeping well.

V-chan and Emily were plotting more evil things to do.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (in your face)

V-chan - WER'E DONE!! Finally. Well, the poll is going well. 'All of them' are winning, followed by Jasdebi & the earl in second.

Emily - Yeah! So vote! The poll ends in 6/2. It'll probably happen in the next chapter.

V-chan - Big thanks to Jinai and JenLawliet. And congrats to Jinai, an anonymous reviewer, who asked the first Noah related question!

Also, I'm gonna delete the 'All of Them' option like an hour after this is posted.

JA NE!


	5. LEMME OUTTA HERE!

V-chan - I believe I promised you guys that someone would try and fight their way out of this right? Well, the poor victim is...

Emily - Ooh! Can I say it?

V-chan - Sure

Emily - yay! Well, the poor looser is, JASDEBI!!

V-chan - Before we begin,

Emily – Someone get up here to do the disclaimer! And it better not be Allen, Kanda, OR Lenalee.

V-chan – How bout Rhode?

Rhode – What do I get out of it?

Emily – You can keep the doll we put in your room,

V-chan - and we'll let you outta here first.

Rhode - Deal! Well, D.Gray-man doesn't belong to V-chan or Emily, because if they did, Koumi would have two accomplices in his inventions.

Both – Damn! You read our minds! Good job!

Rhode – Thank you!

**Note**

"speak"

'thought'

(notes)

**Ch 5 Lemme Outta Here!**

Well, it's been rather eventful staying in Emily's dimension. Of course a majority of Noah's were complaining, but most of them learned to shut up about it really quick, or get their faces bashed in by Emily's n00binatior frying pan or scythe and V-chan's Dark Gloves.

The exorcists on the other hand, didn't mind. Yes, even the ever nomadic Cross didn't mind. Why would he? They let him drink as much booze as possible before V-chan cured his hangover with her 'gloves', then let him drink even MORE booze, WITHOUT consequences. That made him happy enough to not be pissed off and 'train' Allen (i.e. throwing him at a mob of Akuma or Noahs then yelling about the shitty job Allen's doing, WHILE Allen's fighting and Cross is sitting on the sidelines drinking booze).

Allen was just happy that his Master didn't 'train' him, or rack up debts. Although he didn't condone the drinking, as long as he (Allen) didn't have to pay for anything, he was fine.

Of course, everyone was curious about their 'kidnappers'. They barely knew anything about them, just that they were crazy (Koumi didn't mind that), curious, and had anti-akuma weapons, but didn't care for either side.

They were all eating breakfast, and seperated into two halves, although Cross and the Earl sat in the middle.

Seating went like this:

Rhode Tyki Lulubelle Jasdebi Skin Cross Allen

Earl

Bak Koumi Lenalee Kanda Lavi Krory Miranda

Suddenly, Emily's voice could be heard throughout the place.

_"__**Good morning little idiots!" **_Emily yelled.

Tired sighs and grunts were her reply. Except for the Earl.

"Good morning Emily-chan." chimed the Earl.

_**"I said good morning dammit! Now all of you except the Earl, who was the only one who said good morning say good morning you good for nothing brats!" **_Emily yelled, again.

"Good morning." everyone else chorused.

_**"Good, now go into the main room. Be there in ten minutes. Failure to comply will result in mysterious happenings in no way linked back to me."**_ she boomed.

Emily Turned off the speaker and giggled like a school girl.

"Man this thing is awsome, I should use this for school!" cackled the blond.

Everyone dashed in. Hey, if Emily or V-chan had anything to do with the mysterious happenings, someone might end up dead!

**Question room**

Everyone was seated, and waiting for Emily and V-chan, who weren't there yet.

Finally, the two girls showed up, with a giant wheel that looked like the wheel of fortune.

Being the people to always speak their mind, Jasdero and David once again started asking questions.

"What's that stupid," "retarded looking" _**"Thing?"**_ they asked (in order, Jas, debi, both).

"Well, prisoners, we have decided that you know too little about us. As such, we will allow you to ask questions. It can be directed at either of us. The wheel is used to choose the speaker." V-chan said.

"Oh yeah! And you can ask as many questions as you want, not at one time of course." Emily added. She was holding what looks like Pocky. (DONT TOUCH OUR POCKY OR YOU DIE!)

Its like the freaky girls read their mind! Everyone didn't know whether to be frightened that they thought of this EXACT day, or excited since they could use this to figure out how the girls' brains work.

"Who's going first?" Krory asked.

"Hm, LET'S SPIN THE WHEEL!" V-chan screamed, and she spun the wheel rather hard.

...

...

...

The wheel wouldn't stop! Then they finally realized someone was humming.

It was Emily humming THE SONG Jeparody!

Finally, the wheel stopped.

It landed on...

Allen.

"Okay Allen, your question please." Emily said.

"Um... Okay." he answered uncertainly. There were millions of things he wanted to ask. He just went with the first one that entered his mind.

"Do you side with the exorcists or akuma?" he asked. That was the million dollar question on their minds, or at least one of them.

"Hm, we don't side." they said simultaniously.

"Quite frankly, we just care about who dies." Emily added.

"Like for me, if the Earl, Allen, or Lavi die, I'd probably kill their murderers." Emily said.

"True. If Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Rhode, or Tyki died, I'd do the same." V-chan added.

"Although, if Allen and Lavi died, well, let's just say you wouldn't wanna be them." Emily added.

That answer shocked them. They only cared about who dies! Everyone of the non-mentioned characters were slightly put out.

"Okay, onto the next question!" V-chan yelled. Emily spun the wheel, which landed on...

Tyki.

"Okay, Tyki, ask your question." Emily stated WAY too nicely. (V-chan - something's off here)

Tyki was thrown off by Emily's tone, but asked his question anyway, a bit with a bit more fear.

"Okay, how do you imagine yourself dying? And don't hurt me." Tyki said, and looked around to make sure nothing was trying to kill him. Nothing was, for now.

"Hm, well, first of all, what makes you think we're alive?" V-chan asked. THAT unnerved most of the people. (as we love doing)

"Well, I think the last time I died," Emily said. She saw the weird looks the DGM cast was giving her.

"Reincarnations people! Anyway, I think my last incarnation got hit by some moving automobile. I could've sworn I saw a flying tire. After that, I took control of a policeman and shot the stupid driver, and then I went to DUNKEN DOUGHNUTS TO GET ME SOME DOUGNUTS CAUSE THEY'RE AWSOME" she finished. Everyone but V-chan looked at her oddly.

"Hm, well, I think my last life ended because of some douchebag pushing me into the street when a car came up and hit me. I was so pissed at the guy that I came back as a ghost, possessed some hitman and shot him. V-chan said.

Everyone gave her odd looks, well except for Emily. Emily was to busy working on her paddle ball.

Majority of exorcists looked sick, pale, and shocked. The minority was either indifferent, or didn't care(Kanda and Cross obviously).

The Noahs looked like they were either amazed that two girls would die and then kill their murderers, or indifferent. The Earl just thought that the girls were geniuses.

"Okay, I hope Tyki was satisfied with his answer. Let's spin the wheel again." Emily said. V-chan spun the wheel and it landed on

Jasdebi.(Didn't wanna waste space ya know!)

"Kay, since Jasdebi is two people, they can ask two questions." V-chan said.

"Excellent. Well, what are your fears?" Jasdero asked.

"Hm, I'm afraid of... Hoshino-sensei discontinuing the manga, cuz that'd be sad." V-chan said with tears in her eyes.

"I know! Well besides that, I'm afraid of WHITE PORK BUNS." Emily said.

Everyone looked at Emily as though she lost her mind... but that happens often

"Really, then where do you live" David asked.

"Somewhere." they chorused.

"Seriously!" Jasdebi yelled.

"Fine, your mom!" Emily yelled. V-chan just nodded in agreement.

"AUGH! IF WE STAY HERE, WE'LL GO INSANE!" Jasdebi yelled.

"Good. That's the point." V-chan said.

"LEMME OUTTA HERE!!" Jasdebi yelled.

They tried to attack Emily, but Emily used Loki to get around them and slashed at the twins' back.

Then, the twins merged and tried to shoot V-chan, but she activated her innocence and punched them. Emily had ten, ten-feet thick walls one behind each other, and Jasdebi crashed through all of them.

V-chan transported right in front of Jasdebi and hit them towards Emily, who slashed them right back at V-chan, who hit him back, and so on and so forth.

All the while, the other 'guests' were looking on, some in mild horror, some not even caring. The best reaction though, came from Krory, who was laughing and cheering throughout the entire 'presentation'. Yes he was bitter, the stupid brats almost killed him. Kanda and Cross were obviously the ones who didn't care.

The Noahs, had a mixed reaction. Rhode and Tyki were neutral, since the two ARE Noahs, but total pains in the ass. Lulubelle didn't care at all, little vermin those two are. Skin was watching in amusement while eating non-tainted candy V-chan gave him. The Earl, well he just watched sipping Earl Grey tea.

Finally, the two slightly insane and sadistic girls stopped thrashing the twin Noahs. Of course, the twins weren't without bruises.

On the contrary, the twins were seperated and lacerated with slashes and large black bruises the size of a basketball. Their faces had so many bruises that their face looked black and bulgy. There were three large bumps on their head, courtesy of V-chan, and a large scar on their back thanks to Emily.

"I feel better, don't you?" V-chan asked Emily.

"Yep. How bout you dumbasses?" Emily asked.

"What was that for?" Jasdebi cried in tandem.

"For being annoying, stupid," V-chan started.

"retarded," Emily continued.

"and trying to escape when we TOLD you anyone who tried to escape would get hurt." they finished in unison.

Everyone else stared at the twins and back at the hosts. It was incredible. They (excluding Cross) couldn't really believe that two innocent looking girls could nearly kill NOAHS. At least, until they realized that these girls were EVERYTHING but ordinary.

"Okay, Jasdero and Debbitto are examples of what we will do to ANYONE who tries to leave forcefully." V-chan warned.

"Yeah, only we will not go as EASY on you as we did them." Eimly added.

"What the hell, were you guys even serious!?" Jasdero yelled.

"We were slightly serious." Emily said.

"If we were REALLY SERIOUS, you'd be sleeping with the fishes." V-chan added.

"Okay, any other questions for us?" Emily asked.

Lenalee asked, "Um, how did you find your innocence?"

"Uh, it's really personal, so I'm not telling." said V-chan.

"Uh... funny story really haha well I was at the park throwing rocks at the Hudson River until something caught my eye, it was a SHINY rock, when I picked it up it materialized into my friend here Loki... and yeah that's about it." said Emily.

"Are you guys related? Because you guys seem like twins." Lavi said.

"We are not related little Bookman Junior. Although we count ourselves as related in all but blood and appearance." V-chan said.

"Yep!" Emily said.

"But you two dont look alike at all," began Kanda.

"Shut up, she's Chinese and I'm Irish. You got a problem with that?!" screamed Emily.

"What is does Emily want to do when she's older?" asked the Earl.

"Become a Manga artist." Stated the Blond.

"What's your favorite thing to do?" asked Cross. Emily dropped her mouth, V-chan looked shocked.

"HOLY CRAP, HE SPEAKS!" screamed Emily.

"I thought he'd just ignore us unless he had a hangover." V-chan said.

"Answer the question." stated the General. The blond idiot did a mocking salute to the General.

"Drawing, eating, dancing, spending time with V-chan, going on the internet, playing cards, cooking, playing pranks, throwing my n00binator frying pan at people, torturing people, being random, making people laugh and READING MANGA!!" screamed Emily who said all those things in a matter of twelve seconds.

"Hm. Reading fanfiction, writing fanfiction, watching D.Gray-man, reading D.Gray-man, hanging out with Emily, going online, cooking, being random, torturing people, daydreaming, oh, and learning Japanese." V-chan said in ten seconds.

Cross was satisfied.

"Um, are you gonna kill us?" Krory asked.

"No. We might make you half-dead though." Emily said.

"Oh! That reminds me, I need to heal the dumbasses." V-chan said.

She walked over to the disheveled, half-dead twins and activated her innocence. Luckily for the Noahs, they either reigned in their urge to destroy innocence or were unconscious and couldn't do anything. V-chan had one finger break down for each of the twins and whispered, "heal".

All of a sudden, the twins were as good as new. V-chan got her fingers back and deactivated her innocence before picking up the twins, and dropping them in a pile of sharp, pointy objects that Emily accidentally materialized.

"OW!" the twins yelled. Emily mistaken the sharp pointy objects for fire poured Water on them.

"HEY!"

"oops" was the blonds college level answer.

"What was that for?!" screamed the Twins who were now sore, covered with sharp pointy objects AND water.

"... Accident?" another one of Emily's college level answers.

"Oh we'll give you an accident..." began the twins.

"BREAK IT UP! You guys are fine anyway, although you'll be sore for a while." V-chan said. Emily poured more water on them.

"Stop it!" screamed the two Noah's, Emily giggled. That time was on purpose.

"Well, that's all the time we have, so go eat dinner and sleep. You'll probably be here for like, two to four more days." Emily said.

Everyone got up, and the hostesses disappeared.After dinner, everyone went to their rooms. They all wondered what would happen next, before they fell asleep.

"Well, this is boring. Let's give them nightmares!" said Emily with a smile of a child seeing Christmas.

So, V-chan and Emily gave everyone but Cross and the Earl nightmares. They were in Hell, and being tortured by the two.The affected people all shivered at the same time as the girls laughed evilly.

V-chan - Sorry about the wait. I was swamped in work, and I was lazy. -.-; Gomen, gomen.

Emily - Yeah sorry. I had English finals on 6/18, and I was brain dead for a while.

V-chan - Well, we're very sorry. I'll try and update this at least three other times besides this if I can survive my summer schedule of dance class and japanese class once a week, a four-week summer camp, and a one week trip to Disneyland.

Emily - That's a lot of stuff.

V-chan - I know.

Both - Well, Sayonara!


	6. Wow Just Wow

V-chan - Hey peoples!  
Emily - Wassup?  
V-chan - Let's get straight to the fic. Who'll do the disclaimer?  
Emily - Better not be Rhode, Allen, Kanda, or Lenalee dammit!  
V-chan - I know! Cross, could you PLEASE do the disclaimer?  
Cross - What's in it for me?  
Emily - All the wine you can drink, plus hangover cures and we let you 'train' Allen  
Allen - WHAT?!  
V-chan - Sorry Allen-chan! We REALLY want Cross to do it.  
Cross - Fine. These two brats here don't own D.Gray-man. If they did, Jasdebi'd be dead and I'd get as much booze as I want for free while 'training ' Allen.  
Both - Let's get on with the fic!

Note: I have just realized Jasdero and David are both guys. Don't blame me for not realizing it. Blame onemanga.

Key

'bleh' - thought or sarcasm  
"bleh" - speak  
(bleh) - notes  
bleh - Places

**Wow. Just Wow. **

Well, the cast now has a better view of what went on in the two odd girls' minds. Too bad it wasn't as helpful as they wanted.

Several days later, the cast just thought, 'Oh well.' and just tried to stay relatively sane, although it wasn't working well since Jasdebi kept cursing the author and her assistant multiple times during the day.

Everyone thought that had to do with the fact that everyone's rooms were now fine and had no traps in them; except for Jasdebi's room.

Nothing changed. The clothes were burnt, the room was a mess, and a giant centipede attacked them once. And the centipede came out from under their bed.

**FUCKING. SCARY. **

After that night, they found the very same centipede in a room marked _**'Pets'**_. Inside were abominable snowmen, kitsunes (V-chan - Mine!), tanukis (V- mine too!), a snow white owl (Emily - Mine!), a black cat (E - that's mine too), a phoenix (E - mine!), the centipede, and a large dragon.

What everyone didn't know was, all the pets were bred with the instinct to bite, claw, and attack Jasdebi and anyone else their masters told them to.

Of course, everyone had established a minor truce between both sides. They would not attack each other as long as they were V-chan and Emily's captives. They knew that the only enemy right now were the maniacs.

Of course, Cross and the Earl were not included. The former, because he really didn't care, and the latter because the girls would do jack squat to him.

**"ALRIGHT MAGGOTS, CROSS, AND EARL, REPORT TO THE QUESTION ROOM AND WE MAY ALLOW YOU TO DO SOMETHING RECREATIONAL!" **V-chan screamed into the speaker.

Everyone rushed in, and V-chan turned the speaker off and said, "Damn, I need one of these in my house!"

Question Room

Once everyone was in, V-chan started to speak. "Alright people, I've just realized that you guys need to exercise more, well, except for the Earl and Cross. So, we've only got two questions and then Emily will create a swimming pool, park, meadow, hell, if Allen and Tyki wanna gamble, we'll create a room to play poker in." she spoke.

Emily continued with, "So, the questions are from whiteninjaachemist. She asks 'Kanda, Will you marry my counter part(Crazy and evil part of me)?' "

Emily was interrupted as Kanda choked on his spit.

"She also says, 'Just Kidding! Really Kanda did you ever kissed anyone??" Emily finished.

Kanda looked ready to kill, but he slowly shook his head indicating no. V-chan took a paper bag she had and gave it to Kanda. Kanda took the bag and screamed profanities into it, but no one heard anything and the bag was inflated.

V-chan took the bag and threw into a sound proof room, before asking the next question.

"She also asks if the Earl has ever choked on a cookie." she finished.

"Ah, no." Earl-kun said as he took a bite out of a cookie Emily gave him.

Suddenly, the Earl started choking and hacking.

"Earl-tama, what's going on Relo!" Lero shrieked.

Quickly, Emily went right behind the Earl, and performed the Heimlich maneuver. The cookie was dislodged from his throat and he thanked Emily.

"Well, now that the questions are answered and the excitement has worn off, tell me or Emily what you wanna do for the rest of the day, and we'll materialize a room for you to participate in said activity." V-chan said.

For Kanda, Emily created a dojo for him to practice. Krory asked the lesser of two maniacs (V - that's me!) for a greenhouse, which V-chan created for Krory to tend to plants. Lenalee and Koumi got a room that helped them relax and bond (as if they needed to have more bonding time). Miranda went into a room that helped her relax, and Skin got a room full of candy. Lulubell got a room created just so she could take a cat nap.

Lessee, Lavi was stuck in a room with Tyki, Jasdebi, and Bak playing poker. Allen headed for the poker group, but Cross intercepted the white-haired boy.

Cross dragged the boy to the girls, and asked for a room full of Level 3 akuma. The girls were afraid for Allen, but they made a deal (see the disclaimer) and Cross dragged Allen into the room to 'train' his apprentice.

Rhode got a room like her dimension, except all the dolls were now Allen dolls while the Earl had a room created just so he could plot. Lero was once again, playing DDR against the girls.

He was losing too.

After he lost, and relinquished his 200 dollars, to the two grinning girls, said girls ran into their plotting room to watch over everyone, and screw with Jasdebi.

With Kanda

Kanda felt like the world was against him. All he wanted to do was beat the crap outta the Earl, akuma, Noahs, and find that person. Instead, he's trapped in some weird place with MOYASHI, baka-usagi, Lenalee, his idiot boss, General Cross, the vampire dude and a woman with self esteem issues.

He needed to vent.

In the dojo, he tore every dummy apart. Then, the dummies remade themselves and actually started attacking him.

'Whaddya know? This might be interesting.' he thought, as he kept hitting them down.

With Lavi, Tyki, Jasdebi, and Bak

'Dammit.' was the thought on everyone except Tyki. Of course, that was because Tyki conned everyone into strip poker, and he was winning, with only his jacket missing. He also had all of Jasdero's clothes besides his vest, and everything Bak wasn't wearing and just about everything David wasn't wearing, besides his coat.

All Lavi was had his eye patch, Captain Winky (NO ONE TAKES CAPTAIN WINKY OR THE EYEPATCH!), his t-shirt and boxers. He also had Tyki's jacket, Jasdero's vest, and David's coat.

Bak seemed to be more gullible, as he was left with boxers and beret.

Of course, because of our beloved author and editor's meddling, Jasdero was in his underwear, while David still had his shirt. Of course, Jasdero couldn't get his clothes back since everyone agreed to keep their underwear on, so he had nothing else to bet.

David only had one thing to bet, and played the next hand.

He lost. Badly.

Now, the only ones left were the guys. Tyki was winning, followed by Lavi, who won the last hand and got Bak's beret, his pants from Tyki, and David's shirt.

Finally after hours, was the last hand. It was filled with blood (j/k), sweat, tears and violence.

But in the end, Tyki won.

With the Earl

The Earl was bored. Yes, he had to be planning to take over the world, but he was just SO BORED!!

Until Emily and V-chan showed up. Yes, the maniacs and official nut jobs felt like visiting him and helping him with anything he needed to do right now.

"Earl-kun, what do you wanna do since you seem so bored?" Emily questioned.

"Hm, may I join you girls in messing with the others?" Earl-kun questioned.

"Sure you can! We needed an idea on how to mess with Bak anyway!" V-chan replied.

And so, the three geniuses in our words worked on pranks to deliver on unsuspecting people.

Lero included.

By the end of the day, many of the plans were put into action, including making Lero a holey umbrella. Earl-kun didn't mind. He could fix his golem later.

End of the day

(V - I'm too lazy to say what the pranks are. You'll just see the aftermath)

So, everyone was in the gathering room, looking disheveled, except for the authors and the Earl, who were trying to look innocent.

Kanda, besides sweating from the workout in the dojo, had on a pink, frilly, sparklely dress with heart earrings, pink make-up and high heel shoes!! The clothes would not come off. (please see bottom of chapter)

Everyone would be laughing if the aura around said person was just yelling 'LAUGH AND I SLICE YOU TO SHREDS!'

Krory was covered in dirt and had giant bite marks on one of his hands. Of course, that was because he agitated a plant.

Koumi was covered in slime and had smudges all over his pristine white clothes. Lenalee was clean and spotless. Everyone expected that Koumi had gotten dirty to keep his dear little sister spotless.

Miranda looked even more paranoid than usual. But, that was not the girls' fault. They felt sorry for her and didn't want to make her feel more 'useless'.

Skin looked very peeved. Of course, that could be because his candy disappear ed halfway through the day. The candy had apparently replaced itself with lemons. He could be heard grumbling and saying something along the lines of, "not sweet. not good. kill idiots."

Lulubell was soaking wet. She had been deep asleep when it started raining in her room. By the time she woke up, she was dripping wet and had caught a cold.

Lavi had a no clothes -Tyki kept all his winnings- He did keep the eye patch and Captain Winky. NO ONE took away Captain Winky or the eye patch. ESPECIALLY Captain Winky. Other than that, his hair was now flat against his head and had glitter and dust in his head.

Tyki was both happy and sad. He was happy because he conned people outta their clothes, and sad cuz said clothes were ripped because of the prank executed upon him. His own curly hair was straight and was colored yellow at the tips.

Bak was in his boxers, and his hair was colored bright green. His face was covered in hives and his hands were covered in pus, because of Bak scratching at the hives.

Jasdero and David were worse off. Jasdero's wig was completely off, so now he was bald. His gun was in his hands, but it was now rusty and unusable. David's gun was the same way. His spiky hair was tamed.

The best part was, the twins were in tuxedoes like what Tyki wears to family meetings. Jas and David were trying to get the suits off, but it was futile. The clothes were super glued on or something.

To Allen's dismay, Cross was 'training' him. By the end of the day, Allen was covered in bruises, welts, and a slap mark. His usually white hair was brown with dirt.

Cross was fine. The girls were not suicidal, so they didn't do anything to him. He did not do a thing besides slap his idiot apprentice and throw him to the akuma.

Lero was filled with holes. Some of the holes looked like stars, or people, and there was one that looked like a silhouette of the Earl's head. Lero's handle was colored bright, bright, bright pink. There was also tape over Lero's mouth.

The Earl, V-chan, and Emily were both smiling and looking innocent. Of course, the girls were blamed. By the time everyone's appearance sunk in, the trio started whistling innocently.

Of course, Kanda was the first to react to what happened. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU GUYS DO! REVERSE IT OR I'M GONNA SEND A BUNCH OF GAICHU ICHIGEN DOWN YOUR THROATS!!" He yelled, or more like roared.

Everyone started murmuring in agreement, until V-chan raised her hands and said, "Don't worry. The effects temporary."

Emily took a tray with 12 glasses filled with an orange liquid and said, "Well, the only way to remove the paint is to drink a cup of this stuff. For Kanda, drink the thing and you should be able to remove the clothes."

V-chan continued saying, "Jasdebi, you have to wear the suits for another two hours, and then the suits will self destruct. Lero, have the Earl fix you up. Allen, I'll heal your wounds."

And so, everyone with paint all over them drank the liquid, the pain disappeared. Kanda then took off the heels and ran to his room, where he changed into his normal clothes. Allen was patched up, and Cross received Russian vodka. Lavi and Bak ran into their rooms to put on clothes. Tyki went into his room, to put away the clothes he won to give to his friends.

Emily and V-chan high fived the Earl, who thought off everything. Then they told everyone, "Tomorrow is probably the last day, and then we send you home. But, tomorrow will also be the worst day yet!"

Everyone besides the usual three worried about what would happen the next day, before finally going to sleep.

Little did they know the next day would be Hell. Literally.

V-chan - Well, that's it!  
Emily - Yup! Now, if anyone's wondering about Kanda in a dress and stuff,  
V-chan - We thought of that with our friend Sharon.  
Emily - We'd like ideas on things to do the people. If you want us to, we'll torture them,  
V-chan - ask them horrible questions,  
Emily - What ever you want!  
V-chan - So, REVIEW!  
Emily - You know you wanna!


	7. MWAHAHAHAHA

V-chan - KONNICHIWA MINNA-SAN!  
Emily - WHAT'S UP?!  
V-chan - We're back!  
Emily - This time with our possibly longest chapter for this story.  
V-chan - And because majority of our questions come from whiteninjaalchemist, and she is always reviewing and asking questions, she has deserved the right to join us in this very humorous chapter!  
Emily - You'll see her in the fic, but not now.  
V-chan - DISCLAIMER TIME!  
Emily - Earl-kun, do you mind doing our disclaimer?  
Earl - Of course not! **These two mad geniuses do NOT own -man, because if they did, well, you don't wanna know!  
**V-chan - Of course, so...  
Both - ON WITH THE CHAPTER!

**Ch 7: MWAHAHAHAHA!!**

Well well well, we see our beloved charcters in a room, the exact same room they are asked questions by our favorite maniacs that are not Komui.

And at the moment, they (excluding Cross, Kanda and the Earl) were all wondering why they were shoved into the room right after they got dressed. They hadn't even eaten yet!

"Where the hell are those two!!" Jasdebi yelled, which everyone but Cross and Earl-kun were wondering as well.

"Quit griping losers. We're right here." Emily said, as she threw a grenade at the cast members.

"AHHHHHHHH! A BOMB!" they (exclude Cross and the Earl whenever I say 'they yell' or 'they sweatdrop' or 'everyone asked', cuz they don't do that) yelled.

"Oi! There's more than one kind of bomb you know!" V-chan said as the grenade exploded.

**BOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

When the smoke cleared, everyone except the grinning authors, the uncaring general, and the ever-grinning Earl were covered in whipped cream.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Kanda, Jasdero, and David yelled. Everyone else was just confused, well except for Skin. Skin was eating the whipped cream on his hand. He yelled, "SWEET!"

That made everyone else sweatdrop.

"Oooooooooookay, that was interesting." Emily said as she snapped her fingers.

When she snapped her fingers, the whipped cream was gone, and there was a large table of food from all around the world. Nobody moved.

"Well, what're you waiting for? Eat!" commanded V-chan.

At that, everyone sat down and began eating.

"Thank god we remembered the soba." Emily whispered. "You didn't mess with it, did you?" V-chan asked her partner in crime. "Of course not! No one has lived after touching Kanda's soba! Not even Komurin 1!!" Emily yelled, which made the cast sweatdrop again, well, besides Kanda, who was still eating soba.

"Hey, did you forget the wine and other REALLY expensive food?" V-chan asked. "HECK NO! Cross'd skin us alive!" Emily yelled, making everyone sweatdrop and fall anime-style. "No duh!" V-chan told her fellow mad person.

Finally, everyone finished eating and gawking at the amount of food Allen ate, and Emily made the table of food vanish.

"Alright people! I have LOTS of questions, all of them from our friend whiteninjaalchemist!" V-chan yelled. "Who?" everyone asked. "Oh yeah, well this girl is our friend who keeps asking Kanda all those gender questions!" Emily told the confused masses. "Oh." was their reply.

"KANDA!!" an unfamiliar voice yelled, and Kanda suddenly fell to the floor with someone on top of him. "You might wanna get off of him before he suffocates." V-chan said. The person got up and everyone finally got a good look at the person who glomped Kanda.

The person was obviously a girl. She seemed to be Asian and had black hair, black eyes and wore a black Chinese outfit. "Nice to have you here White." the almost-twins told the girl. "It's an honor to be here!" White answered.

There were confused, uncaring looks, and a venomous glare at the girl. "Oh yeah. Everyone!" V-chan called out. "Please meet whiteninjaalchemist, or as we call her, White!" Emily finished.

"Nice to meet you guys." White said as she tried to glomp Kanda again, only to be stopped by Mugen. "Why the hell are you hugging me baka!" Kanda yelled. "Oh yeah, she's like a fangirl when it comes to Kanda. And Kanda, if you hurt her, we can always keep you here longer." V-chan said.

Kanda slid Mugen back into its sheathe, but told the girls, "She better not try that again." "Okay!" Emily said, but everyone knew White would try again.

"Okay, so why is White here?" Lavi asked. "Oh! She's here because she wants to ask her questions herself, and we didn't mind." Emily answered. "As such, we will just sit here and input our opinion every so often." V-chan added.

"Wait. You mean you guys AREN'T gonna try and screw with our heads?" David asked.

"Hm...(expectant looks). HELL NO(looks vanish)!" the girls cackled evilly.

"If anything" V-chan began. "We'll try and fuck your minds up MORE!" Emily finished, which caused everyone to feel chill roll down their spines.

"Well, except for White (insert beaming White), the Earl (insert the Earl with his oh-so-sparkly teeth), and Cross (insert apathetic man drinking expensive wine)." V-chan added.

Everyone else looked like they had their hope of getting out in one piece crushed. Oh wait. They just did. Insert evil, cackling, insane author and her editor.

"MWAHAHAHA!" the mad girls cackled evilly.

"Alright! Let's get on with the questions! White said as she sweatdropped. "Okay, my first question is for Kanda. Have you ever gotten a hug?" she asked.

Now, most people would say yes and think, 'Why is she asking me that.', but Kanda is not most people. "WHAT THE HELL!!" he yelled.

"Ah. Ah. Ah Kanda, you HAVE to answer the questions, no matter how dumb they seem." V-chan said pleasantly.

"I'm never gonna get peace around here." Kanda mumbled so it was barely audible. "No, you won't." Emily responded, freaking people out. "What? I have good hearing." she shrugged.

"Creeepy." several people shuddered. "Just answer the freaking question!" V-chan yelled, getting rather impatient. "No." Kanda mumbled.

"What was that? Emily asked. V-chan continued, "We can't hear you!" "No, OK!" Kanda yelled.

All the Order members -besides Cross-, Jasdero, David, Skin, Tyki, and Rhode laughed so hard tears came out of their eyes.

"Seriously? Never?" the three hostesses asked. "Besides Lavi's glomps and Tiedoll's hugs, which will NEVER count as anything, no." Kanda said, glaring at the baka usagi. Lavi cowered under the glare.

"Hey! Don't glare at Lavi!" V-chan yelled. Lavi looked at her like she was his hero. "Death-glare at him so he'll shrivel in a puddle and hide!" she grinned. Lavi moped to himself mumbling about 'evil girls and scary Yuu-chan' while Kanda glared harder at Lavi. If glares could kill, Lavi would be a very dead, roasted, seasoned rabbit.

Emily looked at her best-friend oddly. "What?" V-chan asked, noticing the look. "I thought you like Lavi, so why are you telling Kanda to death-glare at him?" she asked.

"I do like Lavi. He's my favorite character in D. Gray-man! Followed closely by Allen, then Tyki of course. Anyway, I told Kanda to death-glare because death-glares are cool, and seeing people uncomfortable is fun!" V-chan explained. "Of course! Genius!" Emily yelled.

Odd looks were once again directed at the crazy girls.

"Okay. Anyway, my next question is to...Kanda again!" White said. "No surprise there." V-chan muttered. "Anyways, why do you have long hair?" White asked.

"You know, I've always wondered that." Emily mumbled to herself, although everyone else heard her. "I know what you mean. When I first saw Kanda in the manga, I thought he was a guy, until I saw the anime, and I read volume 2 in more detail." V-chan added, also to herself. Everyone else heard, and sweatdropped. Badly.

Finally, everyone turned to Kanda, who was mumbling darkly to himself. After a couple minutes of silence, he said, "None of your damn business." (Because NO ONE besides Hoshino knows why, I'm making up some bogus excuse) V-chan whapped him up the head. "Idiot! You MUST answer the questions if you wanna leave alive and moderately uninjured, but I guarantee nothing." V-chan said.

"Che. Because I want it long, okay!" He yelled, hoping that the "devils" would leave him alone. It worked, as V-chan, Emily,m and White nodded their heads.

"Hm. I was REALLY expecting that answer. Weren't you?" V-chan asked Emily. This started ANOTHER round of sweatdrops.

White calmed down and said, "Okay. Kanda, I DARE YOU TO CUT OFF A LOCK OF YOUR HAIR!" Kanda twitched, badly, as everyone else stared at the Kanda-obsessed girl.

Finally, Lavi ran up to Kanda, with a pair of scissors in his hand that were magically in his hand. Thanking Emily silently, Lavi snipped off about an inch of Kanda's hair. Immediately, White stole the lock of hair, and she ran into the room made for her by Emily and squealed.

The squeal killed most people's eardrums.

Finally, White returned, and said, "What? Oh yeah, MORE QUESTIONS!!"

White stared at Kanda and asked the question that NO ONE EVER tried to ask. It was, "Kanda, what would you do if there were no more soba in the world?"

Everyone stared at Kanda, who had frozen in shock.

Emily waved her hand in front of Kanda's face. No Mugen down her throat. "Oh. My. God! HE'S NOT TRYING TO KILL ME!!" Emily yelled.

Besides the author, Cross, and the Earl, everyone else started screaming of the top of their lungs.

V-chan sweatdropped heavily. "Freaking idiots." she muttered under her breath. Then, quietly, she snuck up on Kanda and whispered in his ear.

Immediately, Mugen was next to her neck and Kanda hissed, "I DARE you to say that again."

Everyone quitted down at the display, except for Emily, who was still screaming. After about five minutes, both Kanda and V-chan yelled, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"

"What the!" Emily yelled, as she tripped, due to the VERY loud yell. V-chan walked over to her almost-twin and smacked her up the head. "Baka desu ne. Nagomu onegai nee-chan." she said, as she picked up Emily off the floor.

Emily sat back down in her chair and said, "Sumimasen nee-chan kedo... annon Kanda wa kowaii desu." V-chan, Kanda, and Allen sweatdropped.

Lavi, being ever so curious, asked, "What'd you guys just say?" Allen answered, "V-chan litterally said, 'You idiot! Be quiet please older sister.' and Emily litterally said, 'Sorry big sister but, quiet Kanda is scary."

"Well he was! A quiet Kanda after I wave my hand in his face is NOT GOOD!" Emily yelled. V-chan smacked her should-be sister up the head and said, "Quiet please. I wanna hear Kanda's answer."

Kanda thought hard, and said, "If there were no more soba, I'd die from starvation." V-chan and Emily covered each other's mouths, but it was no good. And so, they fell off their chairs laughing like the maniacs they are.

"Oh -laughing- My God! -cracking up-" Emily stuttered between laughs and gasps of breath. V-chan was on the floor, and hitting it saying, "I can SO believe that!" in between her guffaws.

Everyone and I mean EVERYONE sweatdropped at the display.

After a few more minutes, the two girls calmed down. "Hey, what did you say to make him react like that?" Allen asked V-chan. "Oh! Nothing." V-chan said, waving her hand as if it were no big deal. Kanda scowled, and said, "Yeah. It's nothing when you're saying I'm a girl who's a masochist."

Emily cracked up, along with Allen, Lavi, Skin, Jasdebi, and V-chan. After a few minutes, everyone clamed down and the girls looked slightly professional. "We're fine. Moving on!" they said.

White just then wondered how these two became so insane. Then, she prepared her next question. "Okay. Kanda, if Lavi tasted like soba, and there was no more soba in the world, would you eat him?" she asked her object of adoration.

Everyone looked at her oddly, except for V-chan, Emily, Cross, and the Earl. Lavi looked worse though. He looked like he was sick, and turned his head so he could see Kanda.

Kanda thought for a while and said, "Hm, if he was dead, and I was able to cook him, possibly. It depends if the baka pisses me off though."

More odd looks were exchanged. Lavi barfed into a bucket created by a ticked Emily. "Baka! Don't you dare barf on my floor!" she cried.

White just asked her next question, ignoring the barfing boy, for a while. "Lavi, why do you call Kanda Yuu-chan? Why not Yuu-kun?" she asked the now stable bunny boy. "Oh! Because Kanda's first name is Yuu, and cuz he looks like a girl, so therefor, I use -chan!" the hyper red-head explained. "Well, that, and it ticks him off." Lavi added.

V-chan looked at Lavi and said, "You are my hero!" before she ran into a random doorway and came out with yakiniku. She gave the yakiniku to Lavi and said, "Don't worry it's not poisoned."

Lavi smiled and ate the yakiniku before hugging V-chan and screaming, "THANK YOU!"

V-chan's face turned blue, and Emily just said, "Pretty color. Wait, doesn't a blue face mean something?" As everyone else sweatdropped, Emily exclaimed, "Oh yeah! GET OFFA MY NEE-CHAN LAVI!!" and smacked him in the head with Loki, which seemed to glow red.

Lavi immediately let go, not wanting to be cut by Loki, and Emily scrambled to her best friend. "Nee-chan! BREATHE GODAMMIT! IF YOU DIE, I'LL BE LEFT ALONE WITH THESE IDIOTS, CROSS, AND THE EARL!" Emily screamed. V-chan did not react.

Finally, Emily whispered something into V-chan's ear. Suddenly, V-chan was up, with a murderous aura around her. "OH HELL NO!" she yelled.

Just as suddenly, she remembered what happened, and said, "Gomen nasai."

White, who calmed down a bit, asked Lavi, "If you didn't have a hammer as your innocence, would you rather it be a bow and arrow, or a pen?"

Lavi, thought and said, "I dunno. Both choices aren't very good." White accepted the answer, and turned to her next victim, Allen.

"Allen-chan, how would you feel if you had to search for a different General, and not Cross?" she asked our favorite moyashi.

"Um, I dunno. Happy, cuz I wouldn't have to try and find shishou, but kinda sad cuz Tim always stays with me at the moment, and he's the only thing that can find shiishou." he answered.

V-chan sat up in her chair and asked Cross, "Would you want Allen to be on the team that tracks you down?" The answer she got was, "Hell no. Tim stays with Allen, so if Allen were to try and find me, they probably would, and I HATE THAT PLACE!"

White nodded, and stared at Lulubelle. "Do you like catnip?" was the simple question. Lulubelle sighed, and said, "Yes." Oddly enough, no one cared much.

ALL RIGHT!" White yelled. "Now that the questions are done, TIME FOR THE DARES!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she cackled. Lightnimg flashed in the back ground, and EVERYONE had a sense of foreboding run down their spines.

"Nice evil laugh." Emily said. "We approve." V-chan added.

"Now! My first dare is to Rhode. You girls know what it is, and I need help." White said, directing the last part to the geniuses (mad geniuses more like it).

"Of course!" the chimed. Emily created a door as V-chan grabbed Allen and White grabbed Rhode. Suddenly, V-chan and White shoved their victims into the closet.

"RHODE! YOU AND ALLEN HAVE TO STAY IN THAT ROOM FOR AN HOUR!" White yelled.

You could hear a squeal, and sobbing. No guesses as to who did what.

And so, they heard lots of squealing, shuddering, and screams from Allen for an hour. Finally, the two were let out. Allen ran straight into his room, and wouldn't come out.

"Rhode, what did you do?" V-chan asked the petite Noah.

"Nothing, just a bit of mental scarring to add to what ever mental trauma he got from Cross." Rhode replied. "...Okay!" Emily and V-chan said.

Once Allen was dragged out, and kept 50 feet away from Rhode, White said, "My next dare is to Allen." With that said, White whispered the dare into Allen's ear. Once White stepped away from Allen, Black Allen came out!

"Ooh! Black Allen! Can I have your autograph?" V-chan asked. Everyone but the two girls and Black Allen sweatdropped. "Me too!" Emily added. More sweatdrops. After the girls got their autograph, Black Allen suddenly had Lavi's hammer in his hand. "Hey!" an indignant Lavi cried. Black Allen ignored Lavi, and muttered, "I always wanted to try this." and seemingly disappeared.

Before anyone could react, Black Allen suddenly reappeared behind Kanda. Then, with a look mirroring Cross' when he did this to his stupid apprentice, smashed the hammer down on Kanda's head, giving the Japanese teen a concussion.

Allen went back to normal, and laughed. "AWESOME!!" the three girls cried. Skin laughed, yes he was bitter as well.

After V-chan healed Kanda's concussion, and chaining the boy to a seat so he could not kill Allen, White looked at another one of her victims. Cross. "Okay, I'm soooo gonna get shot for this, but IdareyoutohaveNOalchoholforfivehours." White rushed out.

NO ONE wanted to be White at the moment (except Emily for she is an idiot), because if looks could kill, White would be a very charbroiled, pile of dirt. And before anyone could react, he was standing and about 10 of Judgement's bullets were fired at her. It was a damn good thing White could dodge.

"Cross, if you do it, I'll give you enough alcohol to give you the greatest hangover man has ever known!" V-chan cried, hoping to calm down the very scary and enraged general.

It worked.

The man said, nothing, but sat down. Taking that as an okay signal, White looked at Allen, with something akin to remorse.

"I'm SO dead by the end of today. At least I can die happy." she mused. "ANYWAY, Allen, I dare you to kiss Lenalee on the lips!" she said triumphantly. V-chan and Emily laughed as everyone else sent pitying looks at Allen, except for Lenalee, who wouldn't look in his diretion, Rhode, who was death glaring at White, Bak, who was grumbling about 'lucky Walker', and Komui. Komui, once again, was the figure to be feared. His eyes were glowing black, in his hands were his drills, and other tools, and the komurin from before was right behind him.

All of a sudden, Komui was locked in a cage, and his tools and Komurin were gone. "Now Komui, you're not coming out until Allen does his dare. And remember, you kill him, and you are worse than dead." the two snickering girls said. Komui nodded, not trusting his voice and remembering what those two said about their favorite characters. (See Ch 5 for details)

Finally, Allen kissed Lenalee lightly on the lips for a split second, before pulling back as fast as lightning and running into his room, again.

Lenalee's face was so red, it resembled a setting sun. Or the moon on a lunar eclipse.

After a half hour, Komuin was convinced to leave White and Allen alone, and Allen was dragged back outside.

White, wanting to get ther rest of her dares over with, said, "Okay, my next dare is to Rhode. Rhode, Don't talk to Allen until V-chan or Emily say you can!"

Rhode looked horrified. Allen cheered, both inside and out. V-chan and Emily shared very scary grins that looked like Tyki's after he killed Daisya. "Alright!" the would-be-twins cheered.

White then turned away from the shocked Rhode, and looked at the Earl and said, "Earl, I dare you to...sing the little teapot song!"

Everyone else froze. That was the weirdest dare yet. The Earl. Singing. It made no sense!

Well, V-chan, Emily, and White watched the Earl carefully. Then, finally, the Earl sang, "I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up, hear me shout! Tip, me over and pour me out!"

Immediately, the Noah's, V-chan, and Emily clapped. "Yay Earl-kun!" the insane girls cried.

Finally, Skin was given a dare. "Skin, I DARE YOU TO NOT EAT CANDY UNTIL YOU LEAVE!" White cried.

V-chan and Emily immediately made all the sweets disappear. Kanda smirked, as did Tyki, the twin Noah's, and Lulubelle.

"But what about my candy?" Rhode asked, with puppy dog eyes.

"Don't worry Rhode-chan!" Emily said. "Yeah! We'll just materialize the candy for you" V-chan added.

At that, the sweet-loving petite Noah smiled and sat down on the Earl's lap.

"Is that it White?" V-chan asked. "Sadly yes." White answered. "Don't worry! You can still ask questions later!" Emily added.

"Oh yeah! Hey, can I use a computer?" White asked. V-chan complied, and White was online in a matter of minutes.

After a while, they heard White yell, "I'M RICH!" "What'd you do White?" Emily asked. "Oh, I sold Kanda's hair on e-bay. I got a thousand dollars for it!" White exclaimed, The DGM cast members besides out favorite General and Earl sweatdropped.

"Who bought it?" V-chan asked. "A fangirl of course!" White answered. "Must be one happy fangirl." the other two girls said in synch.

"Bye White!" the two girls cried as a portal opened to allow White to leave. "BYE! I'LL MISS YOU GUYS!" White cried as she hugged her two friends.

Right before White stepped in, she stole Kanda's jacket and said, "I'll be a millionare with this!" before she ran in.

Kanda was pissed, but the portal closed before he could steal it back.

"HEY! WEREN'T YOU GONNA LET US OUT!" Jasdebi cried, everyone (once again, excluding the Earl and Cross) else voicing their agreement.

"Sadly, HELL NO!" the kidnappers cried. Everyone started moping around.

"You'll be here for a couple more days so relax!" V-chan cried.

How could they, when they were still trapped in the place with those two evil children?

V-chan - That's that! Sorry for the late update.  
Emily - School's horrible.  
V-chan - That it is. Anyway, THANK YOU WHITENINJAALCHEMIST!  
Emily - REVIEW BITCHES! (takes out flamethrower and burns our homework)  
V-chan - YA!! Oh, and I have a poll on my profile. Check it out

Also, to azeroth5, who has given us as many questions as whiteninjaalchemist, your questions will appear next chapter. Please be patient until then!


	8. Guest Starring: azeroth5!

V-chan - HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Emily - You look rather hyper today.  
V-chan - Of course! Why wouldn't I be?  
Emily - Never mind.  
V-chan - Whatever. Anyway, SOMEONE DO THE DISCLAIMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Komui - OOOH! MEEE!  
Emily - Sure!  
Komui - Yay! These two don't own D. Gray-man. If they did, the Order would be half-demolished every week, and I would have fellow idiot/crazy geniuses to work with!.  
V-chan - HELL YEAH!  
Emily - Let's get on with the chapter!

**Guest Starring: azeroth5!**

It was a sad time for the DGM captives. They had all assumed they could leave the other day, only to find their hopes crushed by their kidnappers.

All of a sudden, a loud announcement sounded throughout the dimension they were trapped. The voice was recognized as Emily's. And so, everyone rushed into the lounge, where they found the two girls, and a stranger.

The new man was six foot tall, and had brown hair in a military style haircut. He looked British, and wore camouflage jeans and a black t-shirt that had a hood. He also had a katana strapped to his back.

"Hi Guys!" The girls chirped. "Please, welcome ANOTHER questioner, who gave us so many questions, we just HAD to have him here." V-chan said. Emily picked up the monologue and said, "And so, we present to you, azeroth5, or as we call him Scythe!" And the two girls presented the newcomer.

"Wow. thanks guys! It's an honor to be here! And no, I will not go fanboy on anyone here." Scythe said, relieving the girls' fear.

And, much to their surprise, a spirit popped out from Scythe's body, like an akuma soul, saying, "Yeah! Nice to meet you all! Especially the infamous V-chan and Emily!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" several cast members asked.

"Is it an akuma?" Allen asked.

"No, I'm not an akuma. Baka!" the spirit said, before smacking Scythe in the head.

"You didn't tell them about me? Idiot!" he asked.

"Ow! Stupid. You usually never show up, so I saw no point in doing so." Scythe said. Lavi was briefly reminded of himself and Bookman.

"Anyway, I share a soul with this guy. His name is Argael. And he's not an akuma. He's a demon. More specifically, a Shadow creature." Scythe said, jabbing his hand in Argael's direction.

The -man cast just nodded their heads.

"Nice to meet you Argael!" V-chan and Emily said, smiling like the 20 idiots they are (It's true. We're idiots, or insane, take your pick).

"But how can he smack you on the head?" Lavi asked.

"Oh. I can only react with this idiot since we share the same body..............You idiot ! I swear this is one of the stupidest things you've ever done, besides go to that fighting tournament, get first place in it, and then go straight to ANOTHER tournament. Stupid fight loving idiot." Argael said, whapping Scythe's head, making Scythe fall on the floor.

"It's not my fault! It's their fault for being so weak!" Scythe whined.

Before the matter could get anymore out of hand, V-chan butted in.

"As amusing as this is, we should get on with the questions, or have you forgotten?"

Scythe blushed and said, "Oh yeah, I forgot." To which Argael whapped him up the head. Again.

Scythe coughed, got up and looked at everyone. The cast member thought they were all back at summer camp for orientation.... AGAIN.

"Okay, my first question is to Allen. Why hell are you so goddamned naive?"

Kanda smirked, it was nice to see a person who agreed with him about moyashi

"What do you mean?" Allen asked, making everyone sweatdrop.

"Wow. he's more naive in person." Sycthe said.

"I actually agree with you. How sad. The boy's naive about being naive." Argael said.

V-chan shook her head sadly.

"What a poor naive boy." she said, as Emily nodded in agreement. Kanda snorted, it wasn't that unexpected. Lavi was snickering behind his hand. Lenalee giggled. Cross was indifferent. Everyone else looked shocked that the boy was so naive.

Scythe coughed into his hand and said, "Okay. That was interesting. My second question to Allen is can you play any other songs on the piano besides the score?"

"Um, well, no. That's the only one I know. Before that I never really touched a piano. Well, barring the incident with that clown." Allen said, shaking his head slightly.

"Okay, another pointless answer." Scythe said.

"To a pointless question." Argael added.

"Hey!" Scythe pouted. "It wasn't the questions that were pointless, it was his answers!" Scythe defended himself.

"Okay, you have me there." Argael grudgingly admitted.

"All right! I was right and he was wrong for once!" Scythe said, pumping a fist into the air. Lavi was once again reminded of himself and Bookman.

"Anyhow, Lulubell, how was your life before you became a Noah, and do you like your family? And explain why!" Scythe asked.

"Before I was a Noah. Hm, I have forgotten what life was like before I became a Noah. I just remember it was cold. I am on a fine line between hating them and liking them. It depends upon the circumstance." Lulubell said.

"Okay. Do you hate Allen Walker?" Scythe asked.

"Yes." was Lulubell's quick and simple answer.

"Dude, I think we ALL knew the answer to that last question." Emily said. "No shit Sherlock." V-chan added.

"Baka! That was a dumb question!" Argael added, agree with the girls, and punching Scythe in the head.

"Ow! Dammit! I'm gonna end up with permanent lumps on my head soon. And I only asked that cuz I wanted to know her REAL opinion of him." Scythe said, rubbing his new bumps.

"Anyway's, Rhode, are you popular in school?" Scythe asked with no hesitation.

"Yup!" Rhode said, smiling like crazy. "Bet you her friends are akuma." V-chan whispered to Emily. She giggled and replied, "I think so."

"So why don't you have THEM do your homework?" Scythe asked.

"Because those kids might tell the teacher, although it's not like I care, and watching the twins and Tyki struggle with the stuff is fun!" Rhode explained. "I knew there was a reason why I liked her." V-chan muttered. "Yup." Emily agreed as she handed Rhode some Pocky.

"When and how did you seemingly become obsessed with Allen?" Scythe asked.

"Hm, I guess after the Rewinding Town incident with Miranda. As for how, cuz he's cute and seems powerful!" Rhode said cheerfully, while hugging an Allen plushie and munching on Emily's Pocky.

"She seems VERY obsessed." V-chan said. "Yeah, like us and our ideas for torture." Emily added.

"It seems so." Argael said. "You two and your torture ideas are to be feared, same as Rhode's obsession with Allen." Scythe said.

"So true." the almost-twins said, nodding their heads in agreement.

"So, if Allen became a Noah, would you marry him?" Scythe asked. Argael paid attention here. Hey! It was a good question, for once.

Cross and the Earl also paid attention. Cross because a girl was actually OBSESSED with his stupid apprentice, and the Earl so he could make sure Rhode was happy enough to stay loyal to him.

Rhode's squeal rang in their ears as she screamed, "YES!" at the top of her lungs.

An hour later, Allen was in fetal position twenty feet away from Rhode, and everyone else could still hear her yell, even though she'd stopped yelling ten minutes ago.

"Okaaaay. Now that we are all properly deaf." Scythe started, before being interrupted by a bunch of death glares.

"I gotta question for Kanda. Why are you such a jackass? Why do you call Allen beansprout, he ain't that short even though he's younger he is younger than you, since he could be your size if he was you age? Who do you respect people who are quiet or people who can dodge Mugen?" Scythe finished.

"Baka! Bad grammar!" Argael said, whapping Scythe. "Ow! So what?" Scythe said.

Kanda seethed. NOT. Good. Emily looked at the angry exorcist, seeing he was unhappy triggered a weird thought in her head and couldn't help but say it out loud.

"KANDA U SHOULD LEARN TO TAKE ANTI DEPRESSANTS THAT SHOULD HELP YOUR ANGER PROBLEMS"

"I act like a 'jackass' because I feel like it. Allen's short and skinny, so he looks like a beansprout. I doubt he'd be as tall as me in three years. I respect people who are quiet and don't bother me. Happy?" while glaring holes in Scythe's head.

"Expected answer to the the questions anyone?" V-chan asked.

"Yeah. Kinda expected that." Emily said. The two were now munching on sugar cookies with water and soda next to them.

"Hm, those answers were half expected. I was kinda thinking Kanda would respect Mugen dodgers though." Scythe said.

"But then he'd respect Lavi. And I believe that 'baka usagi' is not a very respectful term now is it?" Argael asked his other half, who shrugged his shoulders in response.

"Hey Lavi, do you respect Panda?" Scythe asked. Lavi perked at getting a questions. Before he could answer though, Argael kicked Scythe on the head so hard that Scythe fell on the floor in a heap.

"Respect elders idiot!" Argael said.

"Okay fine. Lavi, do you respect Bookman?" Scythe amended himself as he stood up.

"Kinda. I mean I respect him for knowing all this stuff most people don't know, but he's too obsessed with his hair." Lavi said.

"Ne, do you think Bookman is too obsessed with his hair nee-chan?" Emily asked V-chan.

"I dunno. Kinda. I think he's just getting old, and he doesn't wanna be bored." V-chan said. Emily giggled and said, "Maybe."

"Okay. Earl, are you the one writing the script or is someone else?" Scythe asked the portly man.

"Why, God has written it. I just enact it, like a director." the Earl said.

"Hm. Very true. God had decided everything. We are the actors, he is the writer and producer." Argael said, nodding his head sagely.

"Oh goody. It is nice to meet someone who knows what I'm talking about." the Earl said.

"HEY! What about us?" V-chan and Emily cried.

"I mean, someone who knows what I'm talking about and doesn't act like an idiot." the Earl corrected himself.

"........Meanie." the two girls pouted.

"Alright, now that the questions are done, time for my FAVORITE part. DARES! MWAHAHAHAHA!" Scythe cackled maniacally, before he was stopped by Argael with a hit on the head.

"Ow! Dammit fine. No more evil insane cackling due to torture of various anime characters. I GET IT!" Scythe yelled at Argael.

"Good." Argael said. Unfortunately, V-chan and Emily did not agree.

"WAHHH! I miss the evil insane cackling!" V-chan cried, with tears streaming down her face. Emily rubbed her nee-chan's back.

"It's okay. It'll be back later. Don't worry."

"Oh yeah!" V-chan said, and she brightened up, before saying, "ON WITH THE DARES! And nice cackling Scythe" and handing him Mugen.

"AWESOME! Can I keep it?" Scythe asked, before dodging Kanda, who jumped at the boy with his katana.

"GIVE IT BACK!" Kanda roared, before being tripped and tied up by an unknown force. Everyone stared at Emily.

"What, he was gonna hurt a guest." she said. Everyone shrugged and waited for Scythe's dares, which would probably screw themselves over.

"Alright! Allen, I got three dares for you. None of them you're gonna like. Shall I proceed?" he asked the 15-year old.

"Uh, sure. Go ahead." Allen replied, wondering what was going on and praying to God that he would get out of this alive.

"Good! Now first off, I dare you to tell Rhode you like her." Scythe whispered into the white-haired boy's ear.

"WHAT!? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!" Allen yelled. "Why, whatever gave you that impossibly correct idea?" Scythe asked with a grin.

"I like him! He has mastered the ways of sarcasm!" Emily yelled. V-chan nodded, waiting for the dare to proceed.

Allen sighed, because the longer he DIDN'T do the dare, the longer he'd be stuck there. Taking a deep breath and preparing to run, Allen said, "Rhode, I really like you!" before running to his room and barricading it with everything in his room.

Meanwhile, the largest shriek ever formed escaped from Rhode's mouth, causing everything glass in said room to be shattered.

The sound finally stopped after an hour.

"..................IS IT OVER?!" V-chan asked, with her ears still covered.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Emily yelled back.

"GODDAMN MOTHER-OW!!!!!!!" Scythe said, as Argael swatted the boy in the head.

"DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE YOU RETARD!" Argael yelled back.

Lenalee looked at the four people and made them lower their hands. "It's over." she said.

"Oh good. And Rhode, don't forget that you can't speak or touch Allen unless we say you can't." Emily said in a sing-song voice.

"And to make sure he isn't traumatized, yet again, we would like you to stay away from him." V-chan finished.

Allen finally came back inside, although Rhode had to be chained and bribed with candy to not glomp or touch, or speak to the poor guy.

"Sorry about that. I didn't know Rhode'd yell THAT loud." Scythe said.

'Asshole, he's not sad that I nearly get raped/glomped to death, but that she nearly kills our eardrums.' Allen thought while glaring at the boy.

"Anyway, my second dare to Allen is to tell Cross how you exactly feel about him. No lies. Got it?" Scythe said.

"Ooh! We'll help!" the two hyper, insane girls cried before they left the room.

Twenty minutes later, V-chan comes back with a lie detector, and Emily comes with aspirin.

After hooking up the lie detector, and making sure Cross is FAR away from Allen, Allen starts talking.

"How do I say this, he's a psychopathic, sadistic, drunk womanizer all in one freaking madman!" Allen said, fuming. The lie detector stayed green, meaning he was telling the truth.

Everyone was rather shocked. I mean, the kid spent like what, 5 years with him? And he calls him a madman? What's up with that dude?

"Seriously?" Scythe asked.

"Absolutely." Allen said.

"Y'know, I actually agree. hihi." Jadero said.

"Aa." David added. (Aa is Japanese for I agree, only more masculine)

Emily jumped up and gave Allen two pills.

"Here ya go Allen." she said. Allen looked at her quizzically.

"How'd you know I'd need this?" Emily smirked and said, "Hi-mi-tsu ne."

Cross just sat there, looking completely unpertrubed.

"You don't care that he thinks you're like that?" Argael asked, dumbfounded.

"Nope. Why, should I care?" Cross asked, eliciting sweatdrops from the adults, or those over 18.

"Ooookay. That one was odd. Anyway, Allen, I DARE YOU TO BE V-CHAN AND EMILY'S SERVANT UNTIL THEY DECIDE TO LET YOU GO, AND YOU MUST DO EVERYTHING THEY TELL YOU TO DO!!!!!" Scythe said, near cackling at the end.

Pitiful glances were tossed Allen's way. 'The boy is doomed.' everyone thought.

Allen was shaking. V-chan and Emilyhowever, were rubbing their hands together and cackling like only mad scientists can.

"Good Lord. Have mercy." Allen said.

"YAY! WE GET A SERVANT!" the girls sang.

"Ne Allen, go and make us some sushi please." Emily said.

"Hai." Allen said in a dejected tone, before going to grab sushi. After about ten minutes, Allen came back with unagi and anago.

"YAY!" The girls cheered. V-chan took a bite and said, "That's all for now."

Once Allen sat down, Scythe said, "Lulubell, I DARE YOU TO PET A DOG!"

At her shocked, disbelieving expression, Argael said, "Y'know, this might be one of your best ideas yet." Scythe beamed, until Argael finished by saying, "To bad it was on this, because now you've exceed your monthly quotum of one good idea per month."

"Hey!" Scythe said.

A dog magically appeared. It had giant, sharp teeth and a leather collar with spikes on it (think Cerberus from Eyeshield 21).

"Emily, where'd you get Cerberus?" V-chan asked her rather insane friend.

"I found him on the street before I came here!" Emilysaid.

Lulubell walked up to him, and touched him with a finger. Unfortunately, Cerberus chose to chase her, because she smelled like a cat. She immediately changed into a cat and ran into her room. Cerberus could not get in, but kept trying, until Emily called him back.

Emily picked him up, "Cerberus, you can go and chase her later. Just go back to your cage. There's giant steak in there."

As soon as Emily said 'steak', Cerberus ran out of the room like a bullet. After about half an hour of coaxing, Lulubell came out of her room death-glaring at Scythe, who was pointedly looking the other way.

"Ahem. Now that that little episode is over with, Kanda I got a dare for you." Scythe said.

"Che. Bring it." Kanda said. 'Nothing that little punk can think of can be that bad.' he thought.

"I dare you to give Mugen to someone for an hour!" Scythe said grinning. Argael grinned as well.

"An excellent idea. Who are you and what have you done to the idiot that is my host?". Scythe pouted a bit.

"Hey! I do have good ideas every now and then!"

"Sure you do." came the reply.

Kanda meanwhile, had a VERY mad face. He hadn't even touched it since the stupid dares started!

Scythe finally composed himself.

"Lavi, use this one hour wisely." and handed Mugen to Lavi.

Lavi looked as if God had given him the answers to all the questions in his head.

"OH MY GOD! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed. Luckily, it was NO WHERE near the level of loudness that was Rhode's squeal, but it was loud enough to wake up dead.

A spirit rose from the floor and yelled, "Hey! Tell the stupid red-head to shut the hell up! It's bad enough that those evil children enhanced my hearing to 300 times that of normal people!"

"Hi George!" said evil little girls yelled. "DID YOU MISS US!?" Emily screamed "YEAH, DID YA?!" V-chan yelled.

George shuddered. "Never mind, I'm going back to the torture chamber that is my tomb. At least there I'm away from them!" while pointing at Emily and V-chan. who had halos poking out of their head.

Lavi, feeling left out, grabbed Mugen from Scythe and knocked Kanda unconscious. "I've always wanted to do that!" Lavi cheered. Then, Lavi checked the sharpness of the blade. Making sure that it was sharp enough. "Can I get a cinder block please?"

V-chan had one materialized in front of Lavi, and lavi cut the cinder block in half! 'Holy Shit!! Damn glad he doesn't try to cut US!' the Order members (besides Cross) thought. The Noahs just smirked.

Emily materialized lots of akuma shaped dummies, and Lavi got to cut them all down. After a while though, it got boring.

"Can I get some lace, pink ribbons, sequins, and some red and white paint?" Lavi asked with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

Needless to say, the items appeared immediately, along with some super glue, kitten, puppy, and bunny stickers, and bumper stickers for cars that had lots of teamwork sayings on it. The gleam in V-chan, Emily, and Lavi's eyes were to be feared. A lot.

After about half an hour, all three of the pranksters stood standing behind Mugen.

Lavi looked at everyone and said, "And now," Emily continued saying, "We'd like to" V-chan finished it off saying, "present Mugen!" and all three of them stuck Mugen in front of them.

No one could look at Mugen without laughing. Luckily, Kanda was still unconscious.

Mugen was painted like a candy cane. It had a sequined bow on the hilt, and the sheath was super-glued onto the blade. The teamwork stickers were partially stuck together while another part is attached to Mugen so the sticker looks like a flag. Lace frills were stuck on the edge of the bow, and the sheath.

The kitties, puppies, and bunny stickers were just stuck somewhere. The puppies had big pouty eyes while the kittens were curled up and looking like angels. The bunnies, were chibi looking with large eyes, and tiny buck teeth. If you touched one of the stickers, the sticker would say, "Don't you WUV us?" or, "I WUV YOU YUU-CHAN!"

"Oh -HAHAHAHAHAHA- my -HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- GOD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Argael roared.

"Can't -splutter- breathe -HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Scythe said, lying on his stomach and crying tears of laughter.

Everyone else wasn 't much better. They were all either on the floor, or laughing behind their hands. Even Cross and the Earl were laughing. Granted, it was hidden behind their hands, but you could see the mirth in their eyes.

"All right! Mission accomplished!" the blonde, brunette, and red-head said, high fiving each other.

It was at this time that Kanda woke up. The first thing he saw was everyone laughing at something pink, and frilly. After focusing a bit, Kanda realized it was Mugen.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU ASSHOLES DONE TO MUGEN GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

he roared.

"Oh. Yuu-chan's awake!" Lavi, said.

"Ne, do you like Mugen's makeover?" Emily asked.

"It was done especially for you!" V-chan added.

"NO, I DO NOT FUCKING LIKE HOW MUGEN LOOKS YOU FUCKTARDS!" Kanda yelled, with veins popping out of his head.

By this time, everyone had stopped laughing, composed themselves, and watched the argument with suppressed curiosity.

"Ne, the hour's up. Lavi, give him back Mugen." Scythe said.

"Hai!" Lavi saluted the boy and handed Kanda his frilly, red and white striped, sequined, bow-tied, sticker-covered blade. Kanda seethed with unadulterated anger.

"Get. These. Fucking. Stickers. OFF!" he yelled.

With a snap from Emily, the stickers were gone. Kanda felt his mood rise a TINY bit. Unknown to him, the stickers reappeared on the back of the jacket he was wearing, which came from the dimension as White stole his original one. Muffled snickers coursed through the room.

Kanda's mood went down as he realized that Mugen was still, striped with red and white, frilly, sequined, and bow-tied. "Remove the fucking sequins, lace, and pink!" Kanda yelled. With another snap, this time from V-chan, the frills, bow, paint, and sequins were removed. Kanda immediately felt better.

Unbeknownst to him, the frills, lace, and sequined bow also adorned the back of his jacket. More snickers coursed through the room, and mutterings of, "He's an idiot." were barely heard.

Next, Kanda tried to remove Mugen from its sheath, only to find it stuck. His temper was about to blow, and everyone would watch with interest.

Unlike a few minutes ago, he did not yell. No, he d id not, and it confused watchers. Instead, he uttered, "What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Do. To. Mugen?" in a soft voice filled with promises of torture, pain, and LOTS of Gaichuu Ichigen.

Emily snickered behind her hand.

"Why nothing Yuu-chan! I think you're overreacting." At the same time, V-chan made the super-glue disappear.

"Then why can't I unsheathe Mugen?" Kanda asked. "I believe you're overreacting Yuu-chan. Try it again." V-chan said firmly.

It was at this point in time that everyone noticed that Kanda was NOT reacting to being called 'Yuu-chan'.

"Oh. My. God!" Argael, Scythe, and Lavi muttered.

Kanda unsheathed Mugen with ease, but the force he put in the pull made him hit himself in the head. Laughter that was pent up escaped in gales of laughter at the Japanese male.

"Haha okay. V-chan, can you knock Kanda unconscious before I continue?" Scythe asked. V-chan complied, by punching him in the gut and hitting a pressure point in the time one could blink.

"Lavi, dye Yuu-chan's hair pink and put make-up on him!" Scythe said gleefully.

Allen's head snapped towards Scythe so fast it looked like he would get whiplash.

"Repeat that please!" Allen begged. A confused Scythe nodded.

"Dye Yuu-chan's hair pink". Argael just shook his head and said, "It's your funeral people.", but was ignored.

"AWESOME!" Allen cried. V-chan got an idea. (Emily - OMG! She thinks! V-chan - Shut up you!) She had a door appear.

"Allen, get into that room and grab the bright hot pink hair dye, along with all the girliest colored make-up in the room."

Allen saluted and ran into the room.

'Hm, there's a LOT of make-up in here.' Allen thought, and indeed there was. The room had make-up organized by what kind, what basic color, and then what shade. On a shelf were bottles of shocking pink (V-chan - Yes, it's a shade of pink. Go to Wikipedia at type in Variations of pink, and you'll see the different colors of pink) temporary hair dye that could be washed off.

'Awesome! Now Kanda will look "pretty"!'

Allen thought to himself, indavertedly turning into Black Allen. Black Allen started cackling evilly. He grabbed the dye, bleach, and lots of pink make-up of all shades. Hot pink, deep pink, fuschia, carnation pink, you name it, he took it. He smirked, cackled maniacally, and left the room, reverting back to regular Allen.

Allen came out, and Emily and V-chan automatically, grabbed the make-up. Lavi sighed, and grabbed the dye and bleach. After placing Kanda in a chair like what you see at a barber shop, Lavi starting bleaching the samurai's pitch black hair a ghostly white reminiscent of Allen's hair.

After Kanda's hair turned a shade of snowy white, Lavi took out the shocking pink hair dye, and dyed the bleach white hair shocking/neon pink. About ten minutes later, Lavi showed his work to the others, and snickers, guffaws, and a Hallelujah chorus sprang up in the room.

"Nee-chan, I think the hallelujah chorus was a bit much." Emily said, uncertainly.

"Ah damn." V-chan pouted, before vanishing the chorus, stopping them in mid-song.

Finally, Lavi, with the help of Emily and V-chan, had used all the pink make-up brought by Allen and used it on Kanda.

When Kanda was unveiled, he looked like a very feminine pink-haired g irl who was obssessed with pink. As a finishing touch, Emily turned Kanda's uniform into a pink lolita dress with white frills and laces. There was a white sash that went around his waist, and on the back, there was a large, puffy, white bow.

Everyone was trying to hold in their giggles, laughs, or guffaws. Eventually, they lost, and gave in to their laughter. The people with the best reactions were Scythe, Allen, V-chan, and Emily.

Scythe was on the floor. It was hard to tell if the tears coming out of his eyes were of sadness, or joy, or humor. Allen was not much better. In fact he was worse! The 15-year old British boy was on the floor, banging his hands against the floor and hyperventilating from laughing too much.

V-chan was guffawing, while taking pictures. She also had tears of mirth streaming down her face that would not stop. Emily was even worse off. She was in the fetal position, rocking back and forth while laughing her butt off. Many others suspected she had already busted a gut.

Finally, an hour later, the four stopped laughing. Kanda was still unconscious, making others wonder how hard Kanda was knocked unconscious.

At that exact same time, Kanda's eyes opened. As he stood up, he noticed the pink that made him squint his eyes. Then his eyes narrowed into slits. 'Oh shit. He's gonna blow.' everyone thought.

"What. The. Fuck. Is. This?" Kanda asked, groping for Mugen. Luckily for our dear cast members, Mugen was in the opposite corner.

"A dare." Scythe said simply, just baiting Kanda on.

Kanda seethed, but knew that he could not do anything to those idiots he so dearly wanted to maim.

"Get. It. Off." he said, glaring daggers, katanas, and other pointy objects at Scythe, V-chan, and Emily.

If the three idiots heard him, or aknowledged his death glares of doom, they did not react. Instead, they were laughing, and plotting evil ideas in a huddle.

As Kanda's face became red with anger, Emily looked up from the huddle and said, "You say something Yuu-chan?" It was with such innocence, that everyone readilly believed that she did not hear Kanda's threat.

V-chan sighed, as Kanda's face looked like he was about to explode with anger, and snapped her fingers. In a heartbeat, the clothes we re off, along with make-up and his regular clothes were back on his back.

Pleased, Kanda smirked and sat down far, far, FAR away from the guest and 'hostesses'. What he didn't notice were the pictures in Emily's now gloved hands.

In her hand, Emily had pictures of a pink lolita wearing Yuu Kanda. Scythe took six of them, V-chan took ten, Emily gave Lavi and Allen two apiece and kept the remaining ten.

"When'd you take these?" Allen asked, putting them in an envelope.

"While no one was noticing of course." Emily said with a cat grin.

"Alright, my last dares are on this sheet of paper for V-chan and Emily. Along with that, I have to say, keep on ruining their lives V-chan! Emily-chan! Being here was a blast!" Scythe said, smiling happily and handing V-chan an sheet of paper. Argael noded,

"I have to agree with this idiot. This was rather fun. Keep on causing mayhem!"

The two girls nodded and a portal popped up in front of Scythe. Emily started to say, "It was nice having you here. Now before you go," V-chan picked up where her cohort left off, saying, "We have these nice little things for you." and the two girls handed Scythe some pictures of him IN the room with these people, in a photo album.

Scythe took the album, placed his blackmail photos inside, and hugged both girls, before stepping into the portal.

V-chan smiled, and said "That was awesome, now let's see what he wants Emily and I to do." She read the sheet, and smirked as she handed it to Emily. Emily took the paper read it, and smiled an evil smile.

"Alright, I have bad news and good news. As of now, you are staying here for another week indefinetely. The good news is, we'll just be asking questions and doing a few dares. Got it?" Emily said seriously.

Everyone was mind boggled that Emily was SERIOUS, well besides V-chan. They were so mind boggled that they did not do a thing in response to her words.

"Now off to bed with you, but Allen, stay behind!" V-chan said.

Everyone trudged to their rooms besides Allen. Allen just stood there, awaiting his orders. Emily walked up to Allen, and gave him a glowing skull . Before he could ask why he was given it, V-chan shoved him into a portal that lead to Rhode's room and took out the Allen plushie.

Rhode walked into her room, and nearly screamed when she saw Allen tied in a corner, not her plushie.

"ALLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rhode screamed, as she ran to glomp him.

Allen tensed, ready for a strangling, but none came. Instead, a transparent sheild seperated them. Suddenly, V-chan's voice rang in the room saying, "Rhodey, you STILL cannot touch Allen."

Rhode pouted, but fell asleep as close to Allen as possible.

"That was fun." V-chan stated, looking at her counterpart. Emily nodded.

"Yup. It sure was. We should invite Scythe again, if he has more genius ideas."

V-chan grinned, nodded and said, "Now! Time to plot more torture!" Emily grinned back, and they started cackling insanely.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

V-chan - DONE!  
Emily - That took a while.  
V-chan - I know. Blame school. I'm a freshman, and my parents have finally cracked. Now I have to STUDY for an hour.  
Emily - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
V-chan - Calm down. This is my first priority. Also, on my profile, I have a poll. Vote please!  
Emily - Hai! Vote! We're not sure when we'll stop accepting votes, but it won't be for a while.  
V-chan - Also, thank you azeroth5, or as he was named in this chappy, Scythe.  
Emily - Hai! Best ideas ever!  
V-chan - Now..........  
Both - REVIEW OR DIE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA


End file.
